Overcoming the Forces of Nature--And Nurture

Longtime readers of this blog, and those who actively seek to "be being filled with the Spirit" (Ephesians 5:18) know that sometimes the Holy Spirit will speak something that seems disconnected from any other events of life currently in process. Of course I mention that because the title of this post came just like that, randomly, and seemingly unattached to anything else that was going on. Being a substance abuse counselor by profession, I might have thought it had something to do with that, and I am sure it does. However, I believe there is something more to it, something that we can all learn about the forces of nature and nurture.

My siblings and I had a wonderful mother. In fact, if you ask our father, she was not a woman at all, but rather a goddess who walked among mortals. (We would then remind him we never noticed that level of adulation from him while she was alive.) Nonetheless, Mom did have one great failing that ended her life prematurely. She had a nicotine addiction all her adult life. In the end, it resulted in chronic obstructive pulmonary disease and multiple myeloma. My wife remarked recently how much Mom would have enjoyed seeing her grandchildren get married and the great-grandchildren that have come from those unions. She had the genes to live well into her 80s judging from her ancestors. Nature would have worked for her, but nurture was just too hard to overcome. We cannot lay the entire rap at her parent's feet. Smoking was something absolutely everyone did at the time she started. That is nurture too after all.

If, as some people think, addictions are hereditary, I, for one, would be at risk by nature and by nurture. One of the things I love about psychologists (check for the placement of my tongue) is that when they have no evidence, a causal link, for something, they make one up. Such is the case with addictions, homosexuality, and just plain contrariness (is that a word?) among other things. Of course there is a causal link in each of those things, sin.

Sin compells us to do things contrary to the nature of God. Each and every one of us has sinned. (Romans 3:23) Sin has been passed down through the human race since the first pair of humans decided God could not possibly mean what He said when He withheld the fruit of one tree from them. News flash, He did! That should settle the argument about nature. Oh, I know it does not really, but it should. It does for me anyway. God did not make you an addict or a homosexual or a dog or a horse. No one has an hereditary disease of alcoholism that compels them to drink. If a person never drinks alcohol, he or she will never become an alcoholic. However, it is not sheer desire or willpower that will deliver anyone from addictions. It takes a new nature. New natures come from new births. New births come only from God through Jesus. (See John 3).

That pretty much leaves us with the issue of nurture. We do know from scientific studies that people who smoke or drink or do drugs are much more likely to have parents who did those things. Obviously, those things were not only tolerated, but demonstrated in the homes where those people grew up. It did not work that way for me, but we do have blood relatives for whom it did. Those problems often have spiritual roots as well, but if I get going on that, most of you will think I have lost my mind. I know this because I recently spilled it all to a group of men and they thought that. Either that, or I just confirmed for them that I sometimes have a very loose grip on reality. My son tells me it is a lot of fun to be easily amused, but I figure why put my mind on hold when I can just let to go to places other people do not. Sorry, back to reality here.

People who study human behavior have sometimes make a big deal of the fact that babies are born grasping with closed fists. They say this indicates a clutching or holding onto things, a self centeredness if you will. Guess what? A baby in the womb is self centered. It does not know anything consciously, but itself for most of those nine months. If it did, gestation would probably be much shorter. I know people who get claustrophobic on enclosed thrill rides. Those are wide open spaces compared to the inside of a uterus. Still, babies are self centered. Some never grow out of it. It is sad to see 40 and 50 somethings who only do what feels good to them. At some point a member of the legal system often tells them that is not the way adults behave and sends them to jail or to a program. Unfortunately, many of them have wasted well over half their lives living a futile existence. Those are the people who get out of their addictions and actually live to tell about it.

Fortunately, overcoming the forces of nurture is not that difficult. You just stop doing what it is you are doing that you don't like. I could end there, but that would leave a bad taste in a lot of people's mouths. Most folks think they just cannot quit doing those things. Let me assure you, you can. Oh, I know some people think they do not want to overcome an addiction. Do not even go there with me. Remember what I do for a living? Not wanting to quit does not mean there is no deception going on. However, If you really cannot, it is time to look for deeper, spiritual problems than simple addictions. Maybe it is working out your own salvation with fear and trembling remembering it is God who works in you to will and to do according to His good pleasure. (Philippians 2:12-13)

I still have not figured out why this post is written at this time. Perhaps someone out there knows and can tell me. It does not even sound that inspiring as I read it over, but I think that I have written all I am supposed to.