Be Critical of Criticism

I attended a very small college. As a result I was actually able to make the baseball team. In fact, I was on pace to lead the team in strikeouts through the first three games. The problem was that I was not a pitcher. I was zero for my first eight at bats. I had only contacted the ball three times. I needed help.


There was a fellow in the dorm who had played baseball all his life, went to baseball camps and the whole deal. I asked for his help with my hitting. He gave me a bat and a few tips. During warm ups for the next game I almost hit the batting practice pitcher several times, stinging the ball back up the middle. The first swing I took in the game should have resulted in a single, but it was misplayed into a triple. Had I not received those comments about my hitting from my friend, that would not have happened. He was critical of my swing, my stance, and where I had my eyes focused. I received his criticism and it helped me.


We all do it. We hear something that does not sound quite right to our ears or we see someone doing something we think is not quite right and we criticize them for it. In the best sense there is nothing wrong with that. As the story above illustrates, we all need someone who knows more than we do to help us see the things that need improvement. Even batting champions have hitting coaches. Tiger Woods has a swing coach. Here, of course, we are talking about constructive criticism. Most often though, we do not offer critical comments sincerely wanting the best for the other person. Something to think about anyway.

Most people do not like to be criticized. Trust me on this one. A suggestion made with the best of intentions can be understood as a biting indictment by a person who thinks he is right or who has a poor view of himself. I have to tread softly here lest anyone think this is intended as a personal statement about them. It is not. I understand that our battle is not, "...against flesh and blood, but against principalities, against powers, against the rulers of the darkness of this age, against the spiritual hosts of darkness in the heavenly places." (Ephesians 6:12) So unless you fit into one of those categories, I have no axe to grind, no quarrel with you, and no criticism of anything you are doing, except where we can agree my advice might be beneficial.

Those of you who know me, understand I am more of a counseling, mentoring, teaching type of guy. Like most teachers I teach better than I do. You know, as in, "Those who can do. Those who cannot teach." I may not be able to do anything better than any number of you reading this, but there is a possibility that I can teach you how to do it better or maybe tell you why you need to follow the instructions in the package. I said "possibility." ( Trust me on this too. There are people who would read that sentence and mistake me for someone who is very impressed with himself.) I know me. I live here. There is not all that much with which to be impressed.

I was not always this way. I not only found things that needed to be corrected, I was very straightforward in telling anyone if something was not done correctly or not said the way I thought it should be. Essentially there was one right way to do anything and that was the way I thought it should be done. That is not to say I did not sometimes give good advice, maybe even excellent advice. I even thought I was doing it with the most virtuous of motives. As I said, I know me. I really wanted to help, but I also wanted others to know how smart I was. I have outgrown most of that. I am not as smart as I once was. Thank God Jesus left the Holy Spirit to help us in our weaknesses. (Romans 8:26)


There really is a point to all this. Any time we start to do something we should not do, like criticize someone else, we can go into a death spiral. Whatever it is that we are doing wrong colors everything we think and everything we do. If we think in terms of criticism, we become critical of everything. When there is nothing to criticize, we look harder.


Some time ago it occurred to me, or I heard someone say that I could be a blessing to others if I would only use my mouth for blessing. I know, get real. We live in a real world. Okay, so maybe 100% blessing is too much to hope for. Maybe we really cannot ever utter blessing every time we open our mouths. However, we probably can do better than we do. I am in a generous mood tonight so I am going to be generous with myself. I am going to say that 20% of all my discretionary words are blessing as opposed to criticism. Also being realistic, I am going to say I might be able to do half again that much. (Yes I am being facetious. I really hope I am much better than that.) I have decided to speak blessing rather than criticism as much as possible. I wonder if you would join me in that?