Reflections on Turning 60

It happens to most everyone who is blessed enough to be alive at a certain time of year. Sixty times to this point, people have acknowledged the passing of another year of my life. At first it was just the family and since I was the first child, there was not that much family around. I was also the first grandchild and although I do not remember it at all, I am certain my maternal grandparents and probably an aunt and uncle were there to help with the celebration that first year. This year, I was asked what would make my birthday special. I said any celebration should include my children and beef on the barbecue. I was still surprised when I saw my youngest daughter and her husband walk up to the house after flying from New York to honor my desire. They were joined by a couple dozen friends and family throughout the day. My son demonstrated his mastery of the Santa Maria style barbecue with top sirloin, linguica, and chicken. It was odd to have my barbecue being used and not be the one tending it. My apologies if you would have come and did not receive an invitation.

Of all those birthdays, this one seems to somehow be a definite turning point. I did not even get all the pizazz of turning 21. The age of majority had been lowered to 18 two days before my birthday. That might have had something to do with Barry McGuire's line, "You're old enough to kill, but not for voting." from his Viet Nam era ballad, "Eve of Destruction." Since I never drank alcohol that really was not a big deal anyway.

Although there have been major changes around here, (end of a job, beginning of a ministry, new horizons) perhaps much of what I am feeling is simply introspection at the passing of another decade. As a young, associate pastor in the 1970s, I remarked during a sermon that I liked to reflect on my life at the passing of each year. It is amazing the power of simple words sometimes. I had a mother mention to me sometime later that my statement had made a profound impact on her teenage son. He had begun to do the same thing and take steps to modify his life based on his reflection.

During the last year, I came to understand a new facet of the Kingdom of God. I recall pondering God's rest from Hebrews chapter 4 as far back as the 1970s. I could never really grasp the concept. I have now come to believe one enters into God's rest a piece at a time. I have no idea how many pieces there are, but I have entered into two of them.

For years I had a fear of man. I thought a man, any man, could keep God's will from being done in my life. The Bible says that brings a snare. (Proverbs 29:25) I can tell you it did. I cannot tell you how I entered into rest from it, but I have. I no longer fear what man can do to me. God has all that under control. Of course, I have known that for a long time, but I did not know it. I am sure you know what I mean. I also used to be afraid that I would have no money and my wife and children would not be adequately cared for. I even remember the day it dawned on me that we had never missed a meal or a house payment or car payment and in fact we had never even gotten a past due notice on a bill. I remember thinking there was no reason to fear a shortage in the financial area. In spite of all that, God worked a sovereign grace in me and now I really, truly do not have a fear of lack. I know that I know that I know God is going to meet all my needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4:19) Being at rest in just those two areas has given me a peace that is evident to me and to those around me who are perceptive enough to recognize it. As I said, I do not know how many areas of God's rest there are, but I will take all He gives. This is great!

I read a story sometime ago about a man who had been working on a radio tower and had fallen many feet, landing on his back. When he arrived at the hospital he could see the concern on the faces of the emergency room staff. One of them asked him how he was feeling. He said, "If I were any better, I would have to be twins." They knew anyone with that kind of attitude was going to be fine. If you hear me use that phrase from time to time, I am acknowledging God's grace going forward from six decades of walking this earth.

Home Again, Home Again

There is nothing quite like a vacation to restore, renew, and refresh the soul. Over the years, I have become known to family and friends for taking one and two day vacations where I simply take off alone in the car and just drive until I feel like I want to be home again. The last time we had a whole week off work was 2006 when our children sent us to the Hawaiian Islands as a gift for our 30th wedding anniversary. This time as then, we managed to get away, both mentally and geographically, from the day to day routine. We were 3,000 miles away geographically, but, and, well, is New England still part of the United States? Maybe it's California that really does not belong. In any event we decided we would have a lot of trouble with the city sales taxes in addition to the state sales tax, no honking zones, and cities whose streets follow old cow paths--just to mention a few. Oh, and cities that even the Garmin Nuvi does not understand.

I would love to tell you all that I had some outstanding revelations I could write about here, but that did not happen. What did happen is that I realized everyone needs a break from the battle. I know the battle has not even become that intense yet, but a break is always nice. I am also thinking about the "rest of God" that is mentioned in Hebrews chapter 4. I must admit, that is a concept that has always confounded me. I have never understood how one could be doing things and also be resting. Perhaps the most valuable thing about writing this blog is that the Holy Spirit teaches me things as I write and struggle to understand Biblical concepts. Even this moment, the anticipation is building that we are all about to learn something about the rest of God.

When I was younger, I had many different jobs. I was a good worker. It seems that as I got older I also became a good rester. I have a tendency to be just a little bit lazy. Maybe that's why my ideal vacation includes more driving than slogging around New York or Boston, walking up and down subway stairs, and running to catch the Staten Island Ferry. I was a little winded after that last one, but this old man kept up with his 25 year old daughter and we made it.

As you can tell, I am something of a wordsmith, a word cobbler if you will. That makes blogging a relatively easy task for me. I have had more than one person express admiration at the quality and quantity of this blog. That is gratifying, but not all that important. I have been training for such a time as this at least for the past 20+ years. If you have been following this blog, you know it has really been much longer, but I had no idea until just a few months ago.

In the past several months I have gone from utter frustration about my life and ministry to apathy to rest. I had been frustrated since the middle of 1987 when it looked like we had heard the Holy Spirit wrong. Nothing seemed to be working out. Granted, that frustration was often simmering just under the surface as the things of life took the front burner. Very few other people knew the frustration was there and I did a reasonably good job of pretending it was not. That period ended about a year ago and I moved into a period of apathy, I just did not care what happened. I put a spiritual kind of face on that and would have told you God had everything under control and was working things out, had you asked. I think I believed that, but I was apathetic so it did not even matter what I believed. Confronting the religious spirit face to face snapped me right out of my apathetic period and set me on the path toward rest. Now all I have to do is remember I am in that period.

Make no mistake, I am a spiritual man, created in the image of God. I understand something about living in the spirit even though I am not very adept at staying there for long. The challenge is that the rest is a soulical rest, but if we are not living spirit led lives, we will never enter into it. The physical world tugs too hard to let us rest in this world absent the work of the Holy Spirit in and through our spirit. Jesus promised us rest for our souls. (Matthew 11:29) He did not promise us physical rest. Rest is not the absence of physical labor. If you can understand it, rest is really the embracing of physical, or perhaps mental, labor as what God has given us individually to do. Let me see if I can explain. As I said earlier, I am a little bit lazy. However, anyone who knows me will tell you, not much gets by me. I do not see and hear everything, but apparently I do a better job at it than most people do. The point is, I am doing something even when I do not appear to be doing anything.

I know automobile and aircraft mechanics, plumbers, and welders, and even doctors who work harder than I probably ever wanted to. They are constantly in motion. I sit here and move my fingers in orderly movements to put words into a computer and shape them into semi-coherent thoughts. (I hope.) The movements are quick and clean and not too terribly taxing on my body. I do not expect to make a lot of money at it, but my support is not my problem. God's grace has already given me more than I ever expected to have. So much for keeping one's expectations low. Anyway, I have now entered into a small corner of God's rest. I do not worry about finances. I just do what God gives me to do. When I look back, I see that I actually entered into that corner several years ago, almost by accident. I guess you could say I backed into the corner.

Like most people we knew, there were lots of times, when the kids were little especially, that we ran out of money before we ran out of month. However, unlike a lot of those people, we never missed a meal and we never missed a payment on anything. One day it dawned on us that God had been quietly taking care of all our needs, albeit at a lower level than we might have liked. Remember, we kept our expectations low so as to not be too disappointed. (And if you are missing that, it is tongue in cheek.) Through all that, we believed God had better things for us. That was something we could rest in.

The lesson is: Find your rest wherever you can. Once you enter into rest in any area of life, you will find it easier to find rest in another and another and another. I am not much of a formula buff when it comes to spiritual things, but it is not an entirely bad idea to find out where you have trouble in your life--where you have not yet entered into rest. Through prayer, meditation and perhaps some counsel, find out why you do not seem to be able to find rest in that area. Do this for each area where rest eludes you, one at a time. It is a spiritual exercise you will find well worth the effort.