Narcissism and the Professional Ministry

That title sort of makes it sound like this is going to be some kind of psychological treatise. Not to worry. Some of you probably thought we had passed from this life or at least discontinued writing in this space. Nothing could be further from the truth. August was an interesting month in many respects and we are still processing some of the more cogent aspects.

Early August brought the opportunity to travel to Brookings, OR to visit some college classmates, many of whom had been meeting together for the past few years that same weekend. The trip itself was relatively uneventful, and it was a nice drive up through the redwoods to Brookings. Words fail me to explain what it was like seeing people we had little or no real contact with for over thirty years. (Most of you know when words fail me, it was something special.) Because many of the participants were a year or more behind yours truly graduating from college, I even met one couple, in addition to the hostess, for the first time. The host, Mark Gibbs and I had grown up here in Santa Maria, but since we went to different high schools, we did not really know each other until college.

Now that we have dealt with the prefatory remarks, we can address the reason for this post. You know how you know things, but you either do not know you know them or you do not know they are relevant? I had one of those things come up during a discussion in Brookings. (The plan is to tell you about another one in the next post.) I was not even participating in the discussion, but happened into the room and sat down at the table at exactly the right time. Gayle Samples, PhD, and head of the counseling department at LIFE Pacific College was asked about something she had said earlier regarding pastors in general having issues with narcissism. (If you are unfamiliar with the term, better that you look it up now than that we take the space to discuss it here.)

Dr. Samples explained that when one gives careful consideration to pastoral ministry (and we could include apostles, prophets, and evangelists here) we must consider what kind of person seeks public ministry. Please do not take this as a general indictment against professional clergymen and women. However, the shoe does fit much better than many would admit or imagine. Who wants to stand in front of an audience (okay, congregation) week after week, often multiple times a week, and put themselves, their lives, and their knowledge on display? That is not a rhetorical question, but neither is it one we are going to answer specifically here. It is interesting, though, that we frequently consider actors and actresses, and sometimes politicians to be narcissistic when they do very similar things.

I have to tell you, there was a time when I spoke more to the applause of people than the adulation of God. That began to change perhaps some fifteen years ago when, in prayer, Jesus reminded me of  Matthew 7:22-23. "Many will say to Me in that day, 'Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?' And then I will declare to them, 'I never knew you...'" I believe my response was something like, "Yes, those poor people who thought they were doing the right thing and found out too late they were not." The response was bone-chilling. "You are very close to being one of those people."

Upon further consideration, I realized that most of what I had been doing, I had been doing because I enjoyed it, it made me feel good, and drew the praise and respect of the people around me. Obviously, that is not the case anymore. It would be much easier to not continue to write about the religious spirit in the Santa Maria valley and point out some of its manifestations. So far this has not gained me any respect, admiration, praise, or favor from men. To the contrary, my life was very literally turned upside-down because of what some people found "disturbing" in these pages. Or maybe it was turned right-side up? Time will tell. I do, however, have peace with God. I hope you do too.