I have long said I have an uncanny ability to offend people without trying. I have even often thought of that as something of a gift. (Yes, definitely tongue-in-cheek.) I recently had a friend, who I consider to be above average in spiritual insight explain that ability to me. He said, "You have the ability to make people see the shortcomings in themselves." I am mulling that. I have no idea what I do, how I do it, or even if I really do do it. For the time being, I am assuming my friend is correct. If there are any opinions on this out there, I would be grateful to hear them.
That would explain something else too. A few times, fewer than half a dozen I guess, I have been accused of being arrogant. I looked up the word on dictionary.com. So we are on the same page, here is the definition. 1. making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud: an arrogant public official. I do not think I fit that definition. Am I in denial? Anyone? You know you can make an anonymous comment on the blog? Here is the thing about that definition, I do not see how anyone could possibly say anyone else is any of those things. People who act that way usually do so out of insecurity or feelings of inferiority. Might it be that a person who would call another arrogant may believe himself (or herself) to be inferior to the person he is accusing?
I remember the first person and the first time I was accused of arrogance. I thought at the time one person should never accuse another of arrogance--at least not without a Godly sorrow for the person they are accusing of arrogance. Since that time I have met a man who I consider to be arrogant. He is an unGodly man, a genius, who built a small fortune in business--and seems to feel he is entitled above other people. Is he really arrogant or is that just my perception? Perhaps he is hiding some insecurity behind his intelligence and now his worldly riches. I am mulling that as well.
Just for fun, I also looked up "arrogant" in the Bible. That is what guys like me do. There are two different words translated "arrogance". Both of them are found in the Old Testament. The King James version has it as "arrogancy" if you are interested. The two words mean different things and show two different facets of what it means to be arrogant. The first one actually means to be of worth or value. The second one means to be hard or unyielding. Put them together and we have something that looks kind of like our English definition. It would be an attitude we might describe as, " being great and knowing it."
None of that necessarily negates the idea that someone may think I am arrogant. However, if we return to the assumption that my friend is right, a person who considers me to be arrogant would be in a psychological state identified as projection. He or she would be projecting arrogance upon me which is, in fact, resident in himself. (Ouch!) He would be saying words to the affect of, "You think you are better than me, but you are not. Because I know this, I am better than you." Being as honest as I know how to be though, I think the person is actually saying, "I think you are better than I am so you must think that too." That seems to me like such a sad way to live, thinking others are better than oneself--for whatever reason.
Having said all that, let me hasten to add that I have a unique package of gifts from God. I need that unique package to do what God has called me to do. However, my package of gifts is no more impressive than yours is. You have a unique package of gifts that will allow you to become everything God has in mind for you. Perhaps the only difference right now is that I have finally come to understand what I am supposed to be doing and have started to do it. I am still mulling that as well. I know part of it, but certainly not all of it. The Bible tells us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling because it is God who works in us to will and to do of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). Are you doing that? I am, but I know there is still work to be done in that area.
I have probably said enough about that. At the rate I have been writing, this might be the last post for the year. I think there may be one more coming soon. In any event, God bless you as you work out your salvation. If we can help in any way, please let us know.
Sunday, December 12, 2010
A Kingdom Dynamic
The Holy Spirit gave me a picture in the wee hours this morning. It was part catalyst, part confirmation of something I had been working on for at least a few weeks now. Sometimes it takes me awhile. That is why I try to never make snap decisions. I am going to try and describe something to you that works better as a picture, but since I do not know how to do pictures here, you may have to do some work to understand it.
I have been mulling a situation (I wish I could say "meditating" but I have really just been mulling, i.e., soul vs. spirit.) The situation has to do with a Christian relating to his superiors in the workplace. The perspective here is from the employee's side, but if you have employees, please do not stop reading.
Let me describe the picture I saw and hopefully you can see it too. Think of two people side by side (I think in stick figures because that's all I can draw.) one is head and shoulders above the other, but they are about the same height. Each figure is enclosed in an oval so it is like they are floating in the air, next to each other, one higher than the other, showing authority in the workplace. Now if you have the picture in your mind, keep reading.
In the workplace, for whatever time that entails, "the boss", as we will call him or her for convenience sake, floats a little higher. That is the way business works. That is the way it has to work. With greater responsibility comes greater authority. However, we are talking about employment-related, worldly, soulical situations here. ("Soulical" is the word Watchman Nee uses to describe the activites of the soul in distinction from those of the spirit.)
In the Kingdom of God, no one "floats" higher than anyone else. Do not confuse the Kingdom of God with The Church here. We usually use the term, "The Church" in these pages to indicate all believers, but in this instance we are making a further distinction and calling The Church the groups of people gathering together. The Church on earth has to operate like a business in this one respect--someone has to be responsible and that person has to be in charge. That person has been, hopefully, placed in that position of authority by God. But listen. That person still "floats" at the same level in the Kingdom of God as everyone else. This is the point Jesus was making when He said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet is shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant" (Matthew 20:25-26)
If you work for someone else, meaning you have a superior at your place of employment, you have only one responsibility. You are responsible to do what that person requires of you, to the best of your ability. It does not matter what it is you are asked to do. If it is legal and ethical, it is your duty to do it--to the best of your ability. Remember, we are not discussing the other person's responsibility here. That is between them and God. You are obliged to do your job as well as you can.
The point of what I am trying to describe here is outside, but corollary to, our employment relationships. It is greater because it is spiritual. None of us have had perfect bosses. There are none. Each of them can use some growth in one or more areas. That does not mean you are called to be the fertilizer. It does mean they are people we are inclined to spend quite a bit of time and energy with during the course of any given week. We must see that as a God-ordained situation. While we are obligated to take orders from them, we also have something to add to their lives. The words of Jesus come to mind here that we should be, "...wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." (Matthew 10:16) Most people do not particularly enjoy being challenged with regard to their weaknesses. You boss is certainly not an exception.
There are two circumstances in which you may find limited duration to your employment when you challenge your boss to be better. First, your boss may not recognize your spiritual authority to do so. He or she may not realize that you have, "...come to the kingdom for such a time as this." (Esther 4:14) If you do not challenge him or her in a manner in which he or she can accept it as a challenge rather than as a bad attitude, you have lost before you started. Secondly, some people sincerely do not think they have anything that needs to be changed. In the recovery industry we call that "denial." Pray for them. And pray for me. I think I have probably gotten myself into enough trouble for one post. God bless.
I have been mulling a situation (I wish I could say "meditating" but I have really just been mulling, i.e., soul vs. spirit.) The situation has to do with a Christian relating to his superiors in the workplace. The perspective here is from the employee's side, but if you have employees, please do not stop reading.
Let me describe the picture I saw and hopefully you can see it too. Think of two people side by side (I think in stick figures because that's all I can draw.) one is head and shoulders above the other, but they are about the same height. Each figure is enclosed in an oval so it is like they are floating in the air, next to each other, one higher than the other, showing authority in the workplace. Now if you have the picture in your mind, keep reading.
In the workplace, for whatever time that entails, "the boss", as we will call him or her for convenience sake, floats a little higher. That is the way business works. That is the way it has to work. With greater responsibility comes greater authority. However, we are talking about employment-related, worldly, soulical situations here. ("Soulical" is the word Watchman Nee uses to describe the activites of the soul in distinction from those of the spirit.)
In the Kingdom of God, no one "floats" higher than anyone else. Do not confuse the Kingdom of God with The Church here. We usually use the term, "The Church" in these pages to indicate all believers, but in this instance we are making a further distinction and calling The Church the groups of people gathering together. The Church on earth has to operate like a business in this one respect--someone has to be responsible and that person has to be in charge. That person has been, hopefully, placed in that position of authority by God. But listen. That person still "floats" at the same level in the Kingdom of God as everyone else. This is the point Jesus was making when He said, "You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them and those who are great exercise authority over them. Yet is shall not be so among you; but whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant" (Matthew 20:25-26)
If you work for someone else, meaning you have a superior at your place of employment, you have only one responsibility. You are responsible to do what that person requires of you, to the best of your ability. It does not matter what it is you are asked to do. If it is legal and ethical, it is your duty to do it--to the best of your ability. Remember, we are not discussing the other person's responsibility here. That is between them and God. You are obliged to do your job as well as you can.
The point of what I am trying to describe here is outside, but corollary to, our employment relationships. It is greater because it is spiritual. None of us have had perfect bosses. There are none. Each of them can use some growth in one or more areas. That does not mean you are called to be the fertilizer. It does mean they are people we are inclined to spend quite a bit of time and energy with during the course of any given week. We must see that as a God-ordained situation. While we are obligated to take orders from them, we also have something to add to their lives. The words of Jesus come to mind here that we should be, "...wise as serpents, and harmless as doves." (Matthew 10:16) Most people do not particularly enjoy being challenged with regard to their weaknesses. You boss is certainly not an exception.
There are two circumstances in which you may find limited duration to your employment when you challenge your boss to be better. First, your boss may not recognize your spiritual authority to do so. He or she may not realize that you have, "...come to the kingdom for such a time as this." (Esther 4:14) If you do not challenge him or her in a manner in which he or she can accept it as a challenge rather than as a bad attitude, you have lost before you started. Secondly, some people sincerely do not think they have anything that needs to be changed. In the recovery industry we call that "denial." Pray for them. And pray for me. I think I have probably gotten myself into enough trouble for one post. God bless.
Tuesday, November 9, 2010
There Really is a Religious Spirit Working Here
"In order for you to impact your city you must identify and break down the ruling principalities that may be hindering the Gospel there. The more common principalities in the western world would include the religious spirit, mammon, pride, and freemasonry to name a few. Ask God to give you wisdom and discernment as you prepare to deal with local and regional principalities." (Os Hillman, "The Queen of Heaven" November 1, 2010)
Occasionally, as regular readers know, we are questioned as to whether we know what we are doing in this blog. The questions range anywhere from, "What makes you think there is a religious spirit over the Santa Maria valley"? to "Why do you think you have the authority to challenge a ruling spirit anyway?" Then sometimes we come across a quote like the one above that seems to answer both questions. We are not so naive as to believe that those who read these words will embrace the battle, or even change their minds about the battle. However, this is something that needs to be said to remind believers and skeptics alike (and us too) that we are fighting a real fight and things will not be quite right until the enemy is put to flight.
We think we have our facts right about the following observations. If you have better information, please comment here or contact us another way. We participated in a prayer walk of repentance with the Pentecost Walk ministry several weeks ago. It was a rainy, but not too cold afternoon when something like 200 of us walked from the Santa Maria Foursquare Church to city hall to participate in the prayer. Tom Demaree was restarting his ministry after a hiatus due to various circumstances. He felt Santa Maria was the place he needed to do the restart. He did. We did. That was it as far as we know.
Then just a couple weeks ago, Tom repeated the event in southern San Luis Obispo county. The estimate I heard of the number of people who participated went as high as possibly 3,000 people. Yes, ten times or so the number of people who participated in Santa Maria. Any guesses on why there was such a dramatic difference in the numbers? We could give some credit to the weather. It was nicer the second time. Perhaps it was because it was the second time and the prayer walks had begun to gather momentum? We would like to suggest the possibility, just for your consideration, the difference might it have to do with a religious spirit keeping a lid on anything spiritual going on here.
Where to go from there? We can give you all the logical and reasonable arguments as to why the presence of a religious spirit is the only possible answer. That still would not satisfy those who do not want to embrace the idea. We wonder if it is even worth making the following points, but we do have the space so why not?
Maybe there were so many more people at the walk because there are some large churches in southern San Luis Obispo county, including a legitimate mega-church with thousands of attendees weekly. Use that rationale and you are making our point. We do not have any really prominent ministries. That is not to say they are not significant in God's economy. All of them are. I wonder how many of those ministries are even known outside Santa Barbara county? Perhaps some of them would be had we already broken the back of the religious spirit.
There is only a quarter-mile, wide riverbed separating the counties. Why would we have a religious spirit and they do not? Spirits, evil or good, are always in subjection to the rules of man, including to the boundaries we draw. We do not know what the ruling spirits might be in San Luis Obispo county. That is not really our business. There is not any point in concerning ourselves with what someone else is or is not doing.
We have often said the worst thing that can happen to a person is to be right and to have the majority, or anyone else, convince him he is wrong. Absent any evidence to the contrary, we are standing firm in the belief that a religious spirit is affecting every individual church and Christian ministry in northern Santa Barbara County--TheChurchInSantaMariaCA. Ultimately we will win. Agreement always helps, but if you cannot agree, why argue about about it? Truth always proves itself.
Occasionally, as regular readers know, we are questioned as to whether we know what we are doing in this blog. The questions range anywhere from, "What makes you think there is a religious spirit over the Santa Maria valley"? to "Why do you think you have the authority to challenge a ruling spirit anyway?" Then sometimes we come across a quote like the one above that seems to answer both questions. We are not so naive as to believe that those who read these words will embrace the battle, or even change their minds about the battle. However, this is something that needs to be said to remind believers and skeptics alike (and us too) that we are fighting a real fight and things will not be quite right until the enemy is put to flight.
We think we have our facts right about the following observations. If you have better information, please comment here or contact us another way. We participated in a prayer walk of repentance with the Pentecost Walk ministry several weeks ago. It was a rainy, but not too cold afternoon when something like 200 of us walked from the Santa Maria Foursquare Church to city hall to participate in the prayer. Tom Demaree was restarting his ministry after a hiatus due to various circumstances. He felt Santa Maria was the place he needed to do the restart. He did. We did. That was it as far as we know.
Then just a couple weeks ago, Tom repeated the event in southern San Luis Obispo county. The estimate I heard of the number of people who participated went as high as possibly 3,000 people. Yes, ten times or so the number of people who participated in Santa Maria. Any guesses on why there was such a dramatic difference in the numbers? We could give some credit to the weather. It was nicer the second time. Perhaps it was because it was the second time and the prayer walks had begun to gather momentum? We would like to suggest the possibility, just for your consideration, the difference might it have to do with a religious spirit keeping a lid on anything spiritual going on here.
Where to go from there? We can give you all the logical and reasonable arguments as to why the presence of a religious spirit is the only possible answer. That still would not satisfy those who do not want to embrace the idea. We wonder if it is even worth making the following points, but we do have the space so why not?
Maybe there were so many more people at the walk because there are some large churches in southern San Luis Obispo county, including a legitimate mega-church with thousands of attendees weekly. Use that rationale and you are making our point. We do not have any really prominent ministries. That is not to say they are not significant in God's economy. All of them are. I wonder how many of those ministries are even known outside Santa Barbara county? Perhaps some of them would be had we already broken the back of the religious spirit.
There is only a quarter-mile, wide riverbed separating the counties. Why would we have a religious spirit and they do not? Spirits, evil or good, are always in subjection to the rules of man, including to the boundaries we draw. We do not know what the ruling spirits might be in San Luis Obispo county. That is not really our business. There is not any point in concerning ourselves with what someone else is or is not doing.
We have often said the worst thing that can happen to a person is to be right and to have the majority, or anyone else, convince him he is wrong. Absent any evidence to the contrary, we are standing firm in the belief that a religious spirit is affecting every individual church and Christian ministry in northern Santa Barbara County--TheChurchInSantaMariaCA. Ultimately we will win. Agreement always helps, but if you cannot agree, why argue about about it? Truth always proves itself.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
Leaders Are Not Always Right
There have now been too many interrelated events this morning for me to not write this post. I was way more productive yesterday than I had intended to be and I am a little tired from all that. If that is too cryptic, I spent way more time than I would have liked to at two home improvement stores, maintained the fireplace, organized part of the garage, and for good measure, replaced a leaking garbage disposal. So I thought maybe I could get a bit of a day off today. And then...
The Holy Spirit said, "Leaders are not always right." I had not even finished mulling that when my wife asked, "In Romans 12 it says that we are to do what is right in the sight of everyone. Wouldn't that make us man-pleasers?" I gave her the best answer I could, but at that point I was still not making any connection. Then I opened my email. The last headline on the list was the notification of a comment by "Anonymous" on my blog. I was still okay. Of course I had to read the comment. You can read it for yourself, (I do not seem to be able to get the link in here right now, but the comments are on the post entitled, "Heart of a Warrior") but my understanding of the sense of it is that there is more than one way to pursue spiritual warfare and he/she (?) is not sure I am using the correct approach. Okay. No problem. I appreciate the input. Were that as far as it went, I can live with that. How many of you know, the Holy Spirit is not going to let something like that rest?
Let me put those things together for us. Please read the whole context before deciding I am wrong or even being a little harsh. I am just reporting. Wherever a religious spirit has any measure of control, the leaders are the problem. We cannot live our lives to please people who are themselves problems, or participants in the problems. The clear teaching of Romans 12 (and various other Bible passages) is that we each have our own jobs to do if the body of Christ on earth is to be victorious over our enemies. I obviously cannot speak for anyone else, but I am confident I am doing what I am supposed to do.
Now of course I have to clarify the previous paragraph. All the leaders are not the problem. I am not indicting your pastor or my pastor or the leaders of any of what we call "paraChurch" ministries in the Santa Maria valley. I am only writing about the ones who are participating with the religious spirit by seeking their own and controlling and/or otherwise keeping the flock of God from "...attaining the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13) Listen, even the ones who are causing the problem are doing it ignorantly. They are good men and women. If they understood what they were doing, they would not do it. Do not let anything written here inspire you to ignore Hebrews 13:17, "Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account..." (Hebrews 13:17)
As for the question, my wife posed, our responsibility as Christians is to do the right thing. The only people we are required to please in any endeavor are those who, "...see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16)
That would have been all I had to say except that there is a fourth occurrence today that probably set the three we have already mentioned in motion. Tom Demaree, whom we have mentioned before, is relaunching Pentecost Walk in Santa Maria. The culmination is a prayer walk this very afternoon from the Foursquare Church to City Hall. (I really hope I have all that right. Do not make your plans to attend until you check with someone else to be sure.) Tom is a man we greatly respect and support prayerfully and financially. Tom is doing spiritual warfare a different way than we are. When I worked at FedEx, we would have given him an award called, "Bravo Zulu" for fulfilling his call to ministry with all his spirit, soul, and body. You go Tom!
I am about to hit the "Publish Post" button knowing that I might have to un-post and re-post this. We are almost out the door to hear Pastor Jack Hayford speak at a local church. Jack was our pastor for several years, quite a few years ago. He is a giant among pastors and theologians. He always has a word from God. He might say something today that needs to be stated or clarified here, but for now...
The Holy Spirit said, "Leaders are not always right." I had not even finished mulling that when my wife asked, "In Romans 12 it says that we are to do what is right in the sight of everyone. Wouldn't that make us man-pleasers?" I gave her the best answer I could, but at that point I was still not making any connection. Then I opened my email. The last headline on the list was the notification of a comment by "Anonymous" on my blog. I was still okay. Of course I had to read the comment. You can read it for yourself, (I do not seem to be able to get the link in here right now, but the comments are on the post entitled, "Heart of a Warrior") but my understanding of the sense of it is that there is more than one way to pursue spiritual warfare and he/she (?) is not sure I am using the correct approach. Okay. No problem. I appreciate the input. Were that as far as it went, I can live with that. How many of you know, the Holy Spirit is not going to let something like that rest?
Let me put those things together for us. Please read the whole context before deciding I am wrong or even being a little harsh. I am just reporting. Wherever a religious spirit has any measure of control, the leaders are the problem. We cannot live our lives to please people who are themselves problems, or participants in the problems. The clear teaching of Romans 12 (and various other Bible passages) is that we each have our own jobs to do if the body of Christ on earth is to be victorious over our enemies. I obviously cannot speak for anyone else, but I am confident I am doing what I am supposed to do.
Now of course I have to clarify the previous paragraph. All the leaders are not the problem. I am not indicting your pastor or my pastor or the leaders of any of what we call "paraChurch" ministries in the Santa Maria valley. I am only writing about the ones who are participating with the religious spirit by seeking their own and controlling and/or otherwise keeping the flock of God from "...attaining the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ." (Ephesians 4:13) Listen, even the ones who are causing the problem are doing it ignorantly. They are good men and women. If they understood what they were doing, they would not do it. Do not let anything written here inspire you to ignore Hebrews 13:17, "Obey those who rule over you, and be submissive, for they watch out for your souls, as those who must give account..." (Hebrews 13:17)
As for the question, my wife posed, our responsibility as Christians is to do the right thing. The only people we are required to please in any endeavor are those who, "...see your good works and glorify your Father in heaven." Matthew 5:16)
That would have been all I had to say except that there is a fourth occurrence today that probably set the three we have already mentioned in motion. Tom Demaree, whom we have mentioned before, is relaunching Pentecost Walk in Santa Maria. The culmination is a prayer walk this very afternoon from the Foursquare Church to City Hall. (I really hope I have all that right. Do not make your plans to attend until you check with someone else to be sure.) Tom is a man we greatly respect and support prayerfully and financially. Tom is doing spiritual warfare a different way than we are. When I worked at FedEx, we would have given him an award called, "Bravo Zulu" for fulfilling his call to ministry with all his spirit, soul, and body. You go Tom!
I am about to hit the "Publish Post" button knowing that I might have to un-post and re-post this. We are almost out the door to hear Pastor Jack Hayford speak at a local church. Jack was our pastor for several years, quite a few years ago. He is a giant among pastors and theologians. He always has a word from God. He might say something today that needs to be stated or clarified here, but for now...
Saturday, October 16, 2010
Let Go
I was not going to write another post today, but then I was inspired by something I read. Let's back up thirty plus years and take a running start at this.
When we were married, we were associate pastors at a church in Ventura, CA. Two blocks down the street from that church there was a Pussycat Theatre. For those of you who do not know about those theatres, you can probably guess from the name what kind of movies they show. On the marquee of that theatre, the title "The Joy of Letting Go" once appeared. My wife thought that would be good sermon title. Some times it takes a while for me to catch up. Did I mention that was thirty some years ago?
In an effort to not bore you too badly before I come to the point of this post, I will not give you all the details, but I found out my nephew who is ten years old is on Facebook. I pulled up his profile. He has more friends than I do. I am trying to get past that inequity. Anyway, I looked at his friends who come up on the profile page and some of them are considerably older than he is. On one profile I saw activities of "hunting and fishing and 10 others." Intrigued as to what kind of woman likes hunting and fishing, I wondered what the 10 others were. The last one struck me. It read, "You'll never find the right person if you don't let go of the wrong one." I could not tell if that were an original quote so I sent a message and asked if I could use it. She graciously responded in the affirmative. So the quote is used with permission of Rachel Morris of Denton, TX. Hey wait. I think I was there last month. Sorry. Mental break. I am back.
You'll never find the right person if you don't let go of the wrong one. That sounded interesting to me. Then it sounded important, then it sounded essential. I have no idea how important it really is. My mind is still running wild, working on that one.
I work with people in recovery from substance abuse. One of the first things a person in recovery has to do is change who he associates with, where he goes, and what he does. Obviously that is not the only group of people who hold onto things they should not. Any time any of us wants to make a change for the better we have to let go of something.
It now occurs to me that most of us cannot change because we cannot let go of something or someone. We feel we need that other person, thing, house, car, church, job, etc. to make us feel worthy, valuable, whatever. We want to be wanted, but we need to be needed. We tend to think we will lose something if we make a change. The truth is that when we make the proper changes, in obedience to God's will, we have a net gain because He adds more than we give up. I do know whereof I speak. My life was turned upside down about two years ago by a lie. The difference in my life now did not seem possible before that. I am a little embarassed to admit, I did not even realize God wanted me to make some changes until I was forced to make them. I am now seeing the difference.
My maternal grandfather was a good man. He was not, probably, the most intelligent man on earth, but he worked hard at a lot of different jobs and had his own business for several years. I believe he was just seventy years old when one day he was complaining about the aches and pains that often come with age. I told him he would probably live another ten years. He said he did not know if he wanted to. He was not of any use to anyone. I am not sure he believed me when I told him he had value to lots of people including me. Come to think of it, maybe he did. He lived another fourteen years, if I am not mistaken.
We are about to get Biblical and spiritual here, just so you know. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to, "...lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." (Hebrews 12:1) The question, then, is what ensnares us? The obvious answer for people in recovery is drugs or alcohol. It seems most people do not understand that most often (if you need a number for "most often", I am guessing well in excess of 80%) people who abuse any substance are trying to fill a need in their lives. The need can be as complex as a physical, brain malfunction or as simple as peer pressure. There is something the person feels he or she is missing and they they try to compensate with something else.
Those of us who do not abuse substances simply substitute something else for the substances. It might be work or some other kind of service. It could be the things we possess. Perhaps your football team has your focus to the point of obsession. Maybe you know people who live for their children or their pets. At some point we feel the need to control other people so our universe stays intact. (Wow, this is getting heavy.) I know I just stepped on a lot of toes. That is kind of my job here. I picked mine up off the floor as I started to type the paragraph because I just had a feeling about what was coming.
How about we just skip to the bottom line and avoid any additional bruises to our egos? God has more for you than you can imagine. Yes, I have scripture on that, 1 Corinthians 2:9. You will never appropriate the promises and the blessings of God while you hold onto the things that are now weighing you down and ensnaring you. They may be good things, but they are not the best things. You may think you have all you want and need, but now that I have gone to meddling, there is a nagging in your spirit that you are not walking in all the fullness God has for you. I would apologize for initiating that nagging, but I would be being disingenuous were I to do that. That, also, is part of my job. And yes, I have scripture on that too, Colossians 3:16, or if you prefer, Hebrews 3:13.
With that, I am done. God bless!
When we were married, we were associate pastors at a church in Ventura, CA. Two blocks down the street from that church there was a Pussycat Theatre. For those of you who do not know about those theatres, you can probably guess from the name what kind of movies they show. On the marquee of that theatre, the title "The Joy of Letting Go" once appeared. My wife thought that would be good sermon title. Some times it takes a while for me to catch up. Did I mention that was thirty some years ago?
In an effort to not bore you too badly before I come to the point of this post, I will not give you all the details, but I found out my nephew who is ten years old is on Facebook. I pulled up his profile. He has more friends than I do. I am trying to get past that inequity. Anyway, I looked at his friends who come up on the profile page and some of them are considerably older than he is. On one profile I saw activities of "hunting and fishing and 10 others." Intrigued as to what kind of woman likes hunting and fishing, I wondered what the 10 others were. The last one struck me. It read, "You'll never find the right person if you don't let go of the wrong one." I could not tell if that were an original quote so I sent a message and asked if I could use it. She graciously responded in the affirmative. So the quote is used with permission of Rachel Morris of Denton, TX. Hey wait. I think I was there last month. Sorry. Mental break. I am back.
You'll never find the right person if you don't let go of the wrong one. That sounded interesting to me. Then it sounded important, then it sounded essential. I have no idea how important it really is. My mind is still running wild, working on that one.
I work with people in recovery from substance abuse. One of the first things a person in recovery has to do is change who he associates with, where he goes, and what he does. Obviously that is not the only group of people who hold onto things they should not. Any time any of us wants to make a change for the better we have to let go of something.
It now occurs to me that most of us cannot change because we cannot let go of something or someone. We feel we need that other person, thing, house, car, church, job, etc. to make us feel worthy, valuable, whatever. We want to be wanted, but we need to be needed. We tend to think we will lose something if we make a change. The truth is that when we make the proper changes, in obedience to God's will, we have a net gain because He adds more than we give up. I do know whereof I speak. My life was turned upside down about two years ago by a lie. The difference in my life now did not seem possible before that. I am a little embarassed to admit, I did not even realize God wanted me to make some changes until I was forced to make them. I am now seeing the difference.
My maternal grandfather was a good man. He was not, probably, the most intelligent man on earth, but he worked hard at a lot of different jobs and had his own business for several years. I believe he was just seventy years old when one day he was complaining about the aches and pains that often come with age. I told him he would probably live another ten years. He said he did not know if he wanted to. He was not of any use to anyone. I am not sure he believed me when I told him he had value to lots of people including me. Come to think of it, maybe he did. He lived another fourteen years, if I am not mistaken.
We are about to get Biblical and spiritual here, just so you know. The writer of Hebrews encourages us to, "...lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us." (Hebrews 12:1) The question, then, is what ensnares us? The obvious answer for people in recovery is drugs or alcohol. It seems most people do not understand that most often (if you need a number for "most often", I am guessing well in excess of 80%) people who abuse any substance are trying to fill a need in their lives. The need can be as complex as a physical, brain malfunction or as simple as peer pressure. There is something the person feels he or she is missing and they they try to compensate with something else.
Those of us who do not abuse substances simply substitute something else for the substances. It might be work or some other kind of service. It could be the things we possess. Perhaps your football team has your focus to the point of obsession. Maybe you know people who live for their children or their pets. At some point we feel the need to control other people so our universe stays intact. (Wow, this is getting heavy.) I know I just stepped on a lot of toes. That is kind of my job here. I picked mine up off the floor as I started to type the paragraph because I just had a feeling about what was coming.
How about we just skip to the bottom line and avoid any additional bruises to our egos? God has more for you than you can imagine. Yes, I have scripture on that, 1 Corinthians 2:9. You will never appropriate the promises and the blessings of God while you hold onto the things that are now weighing you down and ensnaring you. They may be good things, but they are not the best things. You may think you have all you want and need, but now that I have gone to meddling, there is a nagging in your spirit that you are not walking in all the fullness God has for you. I would apologize for initiating that nagging, but I would be being disingenuous were I to do that. That, also, is part of my job. And yes, I have scripture on that too, Colossians 3:16, or if you prefer, Hebrews 3:13.
With that, I am done. God bless!
Heart of a Warrior
Occasionally we write about men in the program at the mission. Unlike some of the television dramas that change the names to protect the innocent, we have never done that. We will not make an exception this time. Then again we do not really have anyone there who is innocent.
Let me tell you how the title for this post came about. It is a two-part explanation. It was probably about two months ago. I can never be sure of time frames longer ago than vacation, but that seems about right. We were having devotions at the mission. I was saying something, which I am certain was scintillating, and looking at the men as I did. I looked at CJ and the Holy Spirit said, "That man has the heart of a warrior." I said that out loud to the group. One day the next week, CJ told the group he really wanted to have the heart of a warrior. So then this morning--about 5:00 the Holy Spirit spoke this title to my spirit. (Yes, it is Saturday. I have mentioned how I feel about these early morning wake-ups before.)
If you google the phrase, "dysfunctional family" you will see a picture of CJ's family. (Obviously not true in case you have not googled yet.) Suffice it to say, CJ had no idea how to live a normal life before coming to the mission. Now that I type that, I am not sure we are helping him figure out whatever a "normal" life is, but that is all right. We are still giving him some things he can use when he completes the program.
You could ask any of the other men in the program who is the most "spiritual" man in the program right now and they will tell you it is CJ. They know "spiritual" when they see it because they get it hammered into their heads on a daily basis. In case you are wondering, "spiritual" is usually about 180 degrees off what we "think" is right. (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25) Is CJ perfect? That depends on your understanding of perfect. He was lost and depressed when he came to the mission over four months ago. He did not know where he belonged. Now he is redeemed by the blood of Jesus. He has been baptized in water. His mind is pretty much 180 degrees from where it was when he first showed up in my office. He knows he is where is supposed to be. He is helping other men in their Christian walk and this post is evidence that he is teaching me something by the way he is living.
I tell people CJ is my first choice if I need someone to guard my back. Did I mention he is about five feet nine inches tall and weighs around 300 pounds? He could probably stand to lose a few pounds, but I have never seen calves as thick as his. Aside from all that, I would trust him to guard my back--to be behind me. He has the heart of a warrior.
Most of us know someone who is a U.S. Marine. I use the verb "is" because I am told "once a Marine, always a Marine." In his autobiography, Roger Staubach writes about being at the Naval Academy. He writes that he could always tell which cadets were going to be Marine officers because they wore combat boots and ran when they did not have to. In his words they were, "gung ho". They were not only dedicated to what they were doing as the other midshipmen were, they were enthusiastic about it. Being a Marine is more of an attitude than anything one does. Being a warrior is pretty much the same thing.
Right now a group of us are in training to defeat the religious spirit over the Santa Maria valley. Many of us do not even know we are being trained. We do not recognize the Lord's discipline in our lives. I even have one man (intentional understatement) in the program who avoids the discipline he knows he needs. He is typical of those who do not have God's vision for their lives. (Proverbs 29:18)
We are still dealing with people who think we are making all this religious spirit stuff up as though we are looking for a purpose or our destiny in the wrong place. This whole blog thing is intended to raise the awareness of the church--the called out ones--in the Santa Maria valley and anywhere else people would encourage and support us in prayer. Be sure the battle is real. We have already seen a few, minor victories. Those keep us encouraged. When we see men like CJ making progress as he is, we can say with the Psalmist, "This was the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes." (Psalm 118:23)
Let me tell you how the title for this post came about. It is a two-part explanation. It was probably about two months ago. I can never be sure of time frames longer ago than vacation, but that seems about right. We were having devotions at the mission. I was saying something, which I am certain was scintillating, and looking at the men as I did. I looked at CJ and the Holy Spirit said, "That man has the heart of a warrior." I said that out loud to the group. One day the next week, CJ told the group he really wanted to have the heart of a warrior. So then this morning--about 5:00 the Holy Spirit spoke this title to my spirit. (Yes, it is Saturday. I have mentioned how I feel about these early morning wake-ups before.)
If you google the phrase, "dysfunctional family" you will see a picture of CJ's family. (Obviously not true in case you have not googled yet.) Suffice it to say, CJ had no idea how to live a normal life before coming to the mission. Now that I type that, I am not sure we are helping him figure out whatever a "normal" life is, but that is all right. We are still giving him some things he can use when he completes the program.
You could ask any of the other men in the program who is the most "spiritual" man in the program right now and they will tell you it is CJ. They know "spiritual" when they see it because they get it hammered into their heads on a daily basis. In case you are wondering, "spiritual" is usually about 180 degrees off what we "think" is right. (Proverbs 14:12, 16:25) Is CJ perfect? That depends on your understanding of perfect. He was lost and depressed when he came to the mission over four months ago. He did not know where he belonged. Now he is redeemed by the blood of Jesus. He has been baptized in water. His mind is pretty much 180 degrees from where it was when he first showed up in my office. He knows he is where is supposed to be. He is helping other men in their Christian walk and this post is evidence that he is teaching me something by the way he is living.
I tell people CJ is my first choice if I need someone to guard my back. Did I mention he is about five feet nine inches tall and weighs around 300 pounds? He could probably stand to lose a few pounds, but I have never seen calves as thick as his. Aside from all that, I would trust him to guard my back--to be behind me. He has the heart of a warrior.
Most of us know someone who is a U.S. Marine. I use the verb "is" because I am told "once a Marine, always a Marine." In his autobiography, Roger Staubach writes about being at the Naval Academy. He writes that he could always tell which cadets were going to be Marine officers because they wore combat boots and ran when they did not have to. In his words they were, "gung ho". They were not only dedicated to what they were doing as the other midshipmen were, they were enthusiastic about it. Being a Marine is more of an attitude than anything one does. Being a warrior is pretty much the same thing.
Right now a group of us are in training to defeat the religious spirit over the Santa Maria valley. Many of us do not even know we are being trained. We do not recognize the Lord's discipline in our lives. I even have one man (intentional understatement) in the program who avoids the discipline he knows he needs. He is typical of those who do not have God's vision for their lives. (Proverbs 29:18)
We are still dealing with people who think we are making all this religious spirit stuff up as though we are looking for a purpose or our destiny in the wrong place. This whole blog thing is intended to raise the awareness of the church--the called out ones--in the Santa Maria valley and anywhere else people would encourage and support us in prayer. Be sure the battle is real. We have already seen a few, minor victories. Those keep us encouraged. When we see men like CJ making progress as he is, we can say with the Psalmist, "This was the Lord's doing; it is marvelous in our eyes." (Psalm 118:23)
Monday, September 27, 2010
An Introvert's Vacation, Part 2
For the sake of brevity and because those of you who read this blog are some of the smartest people around, we are going to pick up right where we left off in Part 1.
Art was not done by the time I got back to Portales. I ended up getting there something like 18 hours before I had planned to. That was going to be perfect. We would be able to get away from Portales a few hours earlier that we had originally thought and could make a contact in Moriarty, NM. Unfortunately, The legal system was determined to make sure they had their pound of flesh for an indiscretion Art had committed over a decade ago. So not only was I 18 hours early, he ended up being over 24 hours later than we had expected.
So much for a no agenda vacation. Lesson 1: If you go on a "no agenda" vacation, the people you are visiting have to understand that. Otherwise it is not fair to them since your agenda might not fit with theirs. It ends up making it "all about me" rather than "not about me at all" and that may satisfy something in us, but does not meet our deepest, spiritual need. I did pull it off one time though--sort of almost anyway. I mentioned I was also early to Prosper, TX. I have a friend I used to work with who now lives in a nearby town. I gave Eraldo a call and visited with him on the telephone for ten minutes or so. Had I wanted to see him face to face that would not have worked, but it was good to catch up with him a little.
I did mention Portales is not a place people go on purpose. There I was with 24 hours before I could leave. I had passed a Bed and Breakfast on the way into town. I have never been to one of those so I thought I would check it out since I needed a place to stay anyway. I looked them up on the internet and called. Pastor Jerry's voicemail answered telling me he would get back to me when he picked up the message. A couple hours later I decided to just drive over there and see if they had a room. I was met with a freshly poured, concrete, front porch and a pile of lumber. A young man hanging gutters or something told me he thought they were out of town. FYI, Jerry left me a voicemail about ten days later telling me they had just returned from Germany, but if I was ever in Portales again to please keep them in mind. Did I mention Portales is not a place anyone goes on purpose?
What to do? What to do? I should have taken more time between Lubbock and Portales. Better yet, I should have accepted the invitation to stay another night in Prosper, TX. Some say hindsight is 20/20. Do not believe it, but it is better than foresight. Lesson 2: When someone wants to offer you hospitality, even if it does not fit your plans, accept it. I even have scripture on that. It is Matthew 10:11 if you want the reference. I even knew that. I am beginning to think I am better when I have someone around to remind me of things I know, but do not think of at the right time. My wife would be happy to do that, but everyone knows God cannot talk to you through your wife. (Oh, please, it's a joke folks.)
There is a fairly new Holiday Inn Express on the edge of Portales. Do not ask me why. They must see something there I do not. Well, both the older motels in town are in really bad shape. At this point, I am still not sure if I even need to spend the night. Art might get out any time. So I check at the desk. King suite $99.00. I do not need to spend $99.00 for a night in a motel. Next door to the Holiday Inn Express is a Super 8 motel or one of that ilk anyway. $59.00 for the night. That is more like it. Well, except for the fact I know the Holy Spirit is telling me not to check in there. But it's $40.00 cheaper. Not only less expensive, cheaper. Within about half an hour I am in a full-blown crisis. It's $40.00 less to stay at the Super 8. I have pretty much realized I am going to have to spend the night. I am not supposed to be having a crisis. I am supposed to be doing whatever I want to do. I am having a crisis anyway.
I text message a friend I know is available and tell him about the crisis. He throws words I have told him back in my face. I hate when that happens. Not really, but it makes better reading. He texts, "It is never a problem to know what God wants when you get yourself out of the way." Lesson 3: Do not text people who might remember something you told them. (said sardonically).
I go back to the desk at the Holiday Inn Express and check in. Why am I here God? The Super 8 is $40.00 cheaper. Lesson 4: God wants to bless me (and you) more than I understand. $40.00 is nothing to Him. Holiday Inn Express is a nicer chain than Super 8. Oh, and the breakfast is much better as well.
To make a long story short, if it is not already too late, we got on the road the next day about 6:30 PM, again a full 24 hours later than we had intended. It was dark before we got to Albuquerque. It was just before dawn when we went through Flagstaff, AZ. I pretty much missed Arizona both directions. Oh, well, I may make it back again sometime. The trip was almost without incident. The deer I hit on the way down the mountain from Flagstaff was feeling no pain since he had been hit sometime earlier and there was not much for me to hit except a small pile of--well, you know.
There are several other lessons we might take from the trip, but they seem almost silly. Fill your gas tank in Arizona rather than California. You will save at least 70 cents a gallon. Do not order hamburgers at McDonald's at breakfast time. They do not serve them then. Do not be in a hurry on Highway 166 on a Saturday afternoon. Some people are not. I am sure there are others, but none come to mind right now.
Art was not done by the time I got back to Portales. I ended up getting there something like 18 hours before I had planned to. That was going to be perfect. We would be able to get away from Portales a few hours earlier that we had originally thought and could make a contact in Moriarty, NM. Unfortunately, The legal system was determined to make sure they had their pound of flesh for an indiscretion Art had committed over a decade ago. So not only was I 18 hours early, he ended up being over 24 hours later than we had expected.
So much for a no agenda vacation. Lesson 1: If you go on a "no agenda" vacation, the people you are visiting have to understand that. Otherwise it is not fair to them since your agenda might not fit with theirs. It ends up making it "all about me" rather than "not about me at all" and that may satisfy something in us, but does not meet our deepest, spiritual need. I did pull it off one time though--sort of almost anyway. I mentioned I was also early to Prosper, TX. I have a friend I used to work with who now lives in a nearby town. I gave Eraldo a call and visited with him on the telephone for ten minutes or so. Had I wanted to see him face to face that would not have worked, but it was good to catch up with him a little.
I did mention Portales is not a place people go on purpose. There I was with 24 hours before I could leave. I had passed a Bed and Breakfast on the way into town. I have never been to one of those so I thought I would check it out since I needed a place to stay anyway. I looked them up on the internet and called. Pastor Jerry's voicemail answered telling me he would get back to me when he picked up the message. A couple hours later I decided to just drive over there and see if they had a room. I was met with a freshly poured, concrete, front porch and a pile of lumber. A young man hanging gutters or something told me he thought they were out of town. FYI, Jerry left me a voicemail about ten days later telling me they had just returned from Germany, but if I was ever in Portales again to please keep them in mind. Did I mention Portales is not a place anyone goes on purpose?
What to do? What to do? I should have taken more time between Lubbock and Portales. Better yet, I should have accepted the invitation to stay another night in Prosper, TX. Some say hindsight is 20/20. Do not believe it, but it is better than foresight. Lesson 2: When someone wants to offer you hospitality, even if it does not fit your plans, accept it. I even have scripture on that. It is Matthew 10:11 if you want the reference. I even knew that. I am beginning to think I am better when I have someone around to remind me of things I know, but do not think of at the right time. My wife would be happy to do that, but everyone knows God cannot talk to you through your wife. (Oh, please, it's a joke folks.)
There is a fairly new Holiday Inn Express on the edge of Portales. Do not ask me why. They must see something there I do not. Well, both the older motels in town are in really bad shape. At this point, I am still not sure if I even need to spend the night. Art might get out any time. So I check at the desk. King suite $99.00. I do not need to spend $99.00 for a night in a motel. Next door to the Holiday Inn Express is a Super 8 motel or one of that ilk anyway. $59.00 for the night. That is more like it. Well, except for the fact I know the Holy Spirit is telling me not to check in there. But it's $40.00 cheaper. Not only less expensive, cheaper. Within about half an hour I am in a full-blown crisis. It's $40.00 less to stay at the Super 8. I have pretty much realized I am going to have to spend the night. I am not supposed to be having a crisis. I am supposed to be doing whatever I want to do. I am having a crisis anyway.
I text message a friend I know is available and tell him about the crisis. He throws words I have told him back in my face. I hate when that happens. Not really, but it makes better reading. He texts, "It is never a problem to know what God wants when you get yourself out of the way." Lesson 3: Do not text people who might remember something you told them. (said sardonically).
I go back to the desk at the Holiday Inn Express and check in. Why am I here God? The Super 8 is $40.00 cheaper. Lesson 4: God wants to bless me (and you) more than I understand. $40.00 is nothing to Him. Holiday Inn Express is a nicer chain than Super 8. Oh, and the breakfast is much better as well.
To make a long story short, if it is not already too late, we got on the road the next day about 6:30 PM, again a full 24 hours later than we had intended. It was dark before we got to Albuquerque. It was just before dawn when we went through Flagstaff, AZ. I pretty much missed Arizona both directions. Oh, well, I may make it back again sometime. The trip was almost without incident. The deer I hit on the way down the mountain from Flagstaff was feeling no pain since he had been hit sometime earlier and there was not much for me to hit except a small pile of--well, you know.
There are several other lessons we might take from the trip, but they seem almost silly. Fill your gas tank in Arizona rather than California. You will save at least 70 cents a gallon. Do not order hamburgers at McDonald's at breakfast time. They do not serve them then. Do not be in a hurry on Highway 166 on a Saturday afternoon. Some people are not. I am sure there are others, but none come to mind right now.
Monday, September 20, 2010
An Introvert's Vacation, Part 1
I just took a vacation. It was my first vacation in over a year. My typical modus operandi at vacation time is to let my wife decide what she wants to do and tell me where to be, when to be there, and how to dress. This time, none of those rules applied.
We have a roommate. Some of you know that. Art is a really good guy who is working hard to get his life together. He is in his forties, from a small town in New Mexico, a guy who had some problems in his earlier years. He needed to return to Portales, New Mexico to settle a legal matter. It was going to take him about a week. We hatched a plan whereby I would take him to Portales and then tour a little bit of the country,with no particular agenda in mind, for a week while he took care of his business. I would then pick him up for the return trip home.
Portales is a hot, dusty town in eastern New Mexico, almost within spitting distance of the Texas border. The town has little going for it except that it is the home of Eastern New Mexico University and there is an Air Force base relatively nearby. I heard some accents in Wal Mart that definitely were not New Mexico or Texas. Oh, and someone has built an ethanol plant on the outskirts of the town. It is not one of those charming, little towns you would read about in a travel magazine. I doubt anyone goes there on purpose.
I am not going to give you the whole travelogue, but there were a few significant happenings, not all of which were expected. I have a lot of friends in Texas. I have not actually counted lately, but there are at least three of them in the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. I left town undecided as to whether I would visit any of them. That was, after all, the whole point, no agenda, no plan, not needing to be anywhere at any particular time for the best part of a week, just driving where the highway led. Of course those kinds of non-plans never quite work out that well. I suppose they could, but remember, I am a total novice at that kind of non-planning. Every vacation I have ever taken has had a timeline and a destination.
I headed northeast from Portales toward Lawton, OK. The last time I was in Lawton, it was on a day pass from artillery school at Ft. Sill. I realized later it was within a week of 41 years ago that a group of us from the west coast had arrived there. Maybe it was nostalgia, or adventure, or lack of any real plan that got me there. The town had changed a little. Either that or my memory is a lot worse than I had thought it is. I remembered Lawton as a very, small town with nothing going for it except Ft. Sill. Now it is a semi-impressive town of over 100,000 people. Parts of it are very nice. It is even home to Cameron University. The campus was so beautiful I allowed my mind to wonder if there were any faculty positions in my field. I talked with a very nice lady who said the closest they could come is psychology. I do not think so. Imagine all my collegues speaking psycho-babble all the time. Besides that, it would also be very difficult to write about the spiritual battle in Santa Maria from Lawton.
The visit to Lawton definitely took a back seat to the getting there. I spent the day cruising along secondary highways in New Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma, enjoying the scenery, and talking to God. It was a great day! It would have driven other people nuts. Imagine spending an entire day in the car with just me for company. Ask Art. He did it--twice. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I had considered heading north and maybe east from Lawton either to visit cousins in Kansas or to check out a couple of the more touristy places I had heard about, Branson, MO and Eureka Springs, AS. I had already committed to visit my uncle in Lubbock, TX on the way back to Portales. Those towns are only a couple hour's drive apart so that should have worked out well.
One of my friends in Texas is a Nigerian by birth. He is also a dentist. I had never met him in person. We met on the phone about fifteen years ago when I was selling professional, dental products and transitioning my life from nothing something. (Or something to something, or whatever.) In that time, he has gone through a divorce and remarriage, sold a dental practice, worked in another practice and is in the process of reestablishing his own again. He has been much better than I have at keeping in touch. I sometimes feel badly about that. So I called and asked if I could come for a visit. He was delighted to have me. I suggested we could go out for dinner. That was as far as I planned.
I had another great day following the Oklahoma and Texas highways--and learning some things I did not know about the GPS on the iphone. (That is another story!) I still arrived at Tayo's house before he got home from work with his two year old son and Chinese food. I got out of the car and he asked where my stuff was. I had not known what to expect from his hospitality, but he had already decided I would stay there as long as I liked. I decided just one night was as long as I could stay because I had about twelve hours to play with before I had to head for Lubbock.
Tayo, Nifemi (the two year old) and I had a great evening sharing our lives and the love of Jesus in his magnificant house. If I lived in that house I would probably never leave. It is a two-story, brick house with over 4,000 square feet of living space and and office. Unfortunately, the Queen of that domain, Mary, had a class that evening and was apparently only home about six hours before she had to be at work as a registered nurse at a local surgical center. I was asleep the whole time so I was not even able to meet her. Maybe next time. I am looking forward to it Mary.
I was off the next morning for the drive back across the western half of Texas. I made it to Lubbock in time for dinner (still not fully comprehending how the GPS works.) and a pleasant evening with my uncle and his wife whom I had not previously met. The next morning we had breakfast and I headed for Portales fully expecting Art to have finished his business by the time I got there.
Now before this post gets completely out of hand and all y'all (Texan for all of you, plural) wonder if there is really a point to this (there is, but it is going to be in Part 2), we will call this one a wrap and see you soon. God bless.
We have a roommate. Some of you know that. Art is a really good guy who is working hard to get his life together. He is in his forties, from a small town in New Mexico, a guy who had some problems in his earlier years. He needed to return to Portales, New Mexico to settle a legal matter. It was going to take him about a week. We hatched a plan whereby I would take him to Portales and then tour a little bit of the country,with no particular agenda in mind, for a week while he took care of his business. I would then pick him up for the return trip home.
Portales is a hot, dusty town in eastern New Mexico, almost within spitting distance of the Texas border. The town has little going for it except that it is the home of Eastern New Mexico University and there is an Air Force base relatively nearby. I heard some accents in Wal Mart that definitely were not New Mexico or Texas. Oh, and someone has built an ethanol plant on the outskirts of the town. It is not one of those charming, little towns you would read about in a travel magazine. I doubt anyone goes there on purpose.
I am not going to give you the whole travelogue, but there were a few significant happenings, not all of which were expected. I have a lot of friends in Texas. I have not actually counted lately, but there are at least three of them in the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex. I left town undecided as to whether I would visit any of them. That was, after all, the whole point, no agenda, no plan, not needing to be anywhere at any particular time for the best part of a week, just driving where the highway led. Of course those kinds of non-plans never quite work out that well. I suppose they could, but remember, I am a total novice at that kind of non-planning. Every vacation I have ever taken has had a timeline and a destination.
I headed northeast from Portales toward Lawton, OK. The last time I was in Lawton, it was on a day pass from artillery school at Ft. Sill. I realized later it was within a week of 41 years ago that a group of us from the west coast had arrived there. Maybe it was nostalgia, or adventure, or lack of any real plan that got me there. The town had changed a little. Either that or my memory is a lot worse than I had thought it is. I remembered Lawton as a very, small town with nothing going for it except Ft. Sill. Now it is a semi-impressive town of over 100,000 people. Parts of it are very nice. It is even home to Cameron University. The campus was so beautiful I allowed my mind to wonder if there were any faculty positions in my field. I talked with a very nice lady who said the closest they could come is psychology. I do not think so. Imagine all my collegues speaking psycho-babble all the time. Besides that, it would also be very difficult to write about the spiritual battle in Santa Maria from Lawton.
The visit to Lawton definitely took a back seat to the getting there. I spent the day cruising along secondary highways in New Mexico, Texas, and Oklahoma, enjoying the scenery, and talking to God. It was a great day! It would have driven other people nuts. Imagine spending an entire day in the car with just me for company. Ask Art. He did it--twice. I thoroughly enjoyed it.
I had considered heading north and maybe east from Lawton either to visit cousins in Kansas or to check out a couple of the more touristy places I had heard about, Branson, MO and Eureka Springs, AS. I had already committed to visit my uncle in Lubbock, TX on the way back to Portales. Those towns are only a couple hour's drive apart so that should have worked out well.
One of my friends in Texas is a Nigerian by birth. He is also a dentist. I had never met him in person. We met on the phone about fifteen years ago when I was selling professional, dental products and transitioning my life from nothing something. (Or something to something, or whatever.) In that time, he has gone through a divorce and remarriage, sold a dental practice, worked in another practice and is in the process of reestablishing his own again. He has been much better than I have at keeping in touch. I sometimes feel badly about that. So I called and asked if I could come for a visit. He was delighted to have me. I suggested we could go out for dinner. That was as far as I planned.
I had another great day following the Oklahoma and Texas highways--and learning some things I did not know about the GPS on the iphone. (That is another story!) I still arrived at Tayo's house before he got home from work with his two year old son and Chinese food. I got out of the car and he asked where my stuff was. I had not known what to expect from his hospitality, but he had already decided I would stay there as long as I liked. I decided just one night was as long as I could stay because I had about twelve hours to play with before I had to head for Lubbock.
Tayo, Nifemi (the two year old) and I had a great evening sharing our lives and the love of Jesus in his magnificant house. If I lived in that house I would probably never leave. It is a two-story, brick house with over 4,000 square feet of living space and and office. Unfortunately, the Queen of that domain, Mary, had a class that evening and was apparently only home about six hours before she had to be at work as a registered nurse at a local surgical center. I was asleep the whole time so I was not even able to meet her. Maybe next time. I am looking forward to it Mary.
I was off the next morning for the drive back across the western half of Texas. I made it to Lubbock in time for dinner (still not fully comprehending how the GPS works.) and a pleasant evening with my uncle and his wife whom I had not previously met. The next morning we had breakfast and I headed for Portales fully expecting Art to have finished his business by the time I got there.
Now before this post gets completely out of hand and all y'all (Texan for all of you, plural) wonder if there is really a point to this (there is, but it is going to be in Part 2), we will call this one a wrap and see you soon. God bless.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
More On Thinking Differently
My pastor and I view things differently. That is a good thing. Come to think of it almost everybody seems to view things differently than I do. I am not sure how good a thing that is. I still stand by my ability to hear from the Holy Spirit while admitting that anyone of us can lapse into deception at anytime.
This topic, difference of viewpoints, comes up because it occurred to me recently that is the greatest benefit I personally derive from attending church. Pastor Rob sees things differently that I do. Undoubtedly he is right as often as I am, but he is the one who does most of the talking in church. Frequently, he will say something in a way that I had not previously thought about. Hearing his perspective helps me refine my understanding of the topic under discussion. Well, not discussion in the case of his sermons, but you get the point.
In my own teaching, I have often gained insight from the Holy Spirit in the process of the teaching itself. I know a preacher a generation ahead of me whom I heard claim that he could get every bit as inspired in his study on Tuesday morning as he could in the pulpit on Sunday morning. Without being unkind here, I just never heard him sound all that inspired on Sunday morning. That brought the question to my mind of just how inspired he was on Tuesday morning.
Pastor Rob does not have a problem with lack of inspiration on Sunday morning. I have no idea where he gets his energy. Even accounting for the 20+ year difference in our ages (he is younger) he just seems as though he must be running on energizer batteries. I know I never had that much energy. In fact it wore me out typing that paragraph.
So what is the point anyway? We are all different. Obviously there is right and there is wrong. There is also a lot in between the two we just do not know. I am not talking about shades of gray here. I am talking about things we just do not know. I mean nobody knows. I am not sure we can know it all, especially where God is concerned. There are a lot of things we know. In fact the Bible tells us all that can be know about God. That is what it means that the Bible is the "word" of God. We have written about that previously in these pages. If you have forgotten, look up the word "logos" in the labels. I am not going to do all the work for you.
The ironic thing about ignorance is that we do not know what we do not know. Spiritual deception has the same irony. We do not know where we are deceived. In fact, the more ignorant we are, the less we know and the more deceived we are the more we think we are not. Selah. (Hebrew for "think about that".) God graciously gave us the concept of fellowship with one another because there is always someone who knows more, someone who has more experience, and someone who has better spiritual insight than we do. When we get the idea of Biblical fellowship down, we have access to those people. Maybe they also need some of that knowledge, experience or insight we have. We will never know that if we do not have fellowship with them. I feel a future post on fellowship coming on.
I could almost make a case for giving you my resume here, but I always hesitate to do that. I am not sure it matters anyway. Were I to do that, some would be tempted to misunderstand and think I was doing it simply to glorify myself and/or my accomplishments. There would also be those who would rightly conclude that all that study and experience and all those diplomas and certifications amount to a pile of, well, the apostle Paul called it "rubbish" in a more polite translation of Philippians 3:8. I am just a guy, a guy with a calling to be sure, but just a guy. I have written about that before too. (I tried to place that link here, but it did not want to work. It is the post from 9/20/09.)
Thank you for reading this far. My point is that education, diplomas, degrees, certifications, experience, titles, accolades, etc., like the mountains, melt like wax at the coming of the Lord. (Psalm 97:5) I might have started something at the end of the previous post when I did not comment on a verse of scripture. I probably should not comment further on that. God bless.
This topic, difference of viewpoints, comes up because it occurred to me recently that is the greatest benefit I personally derive from attending church. Pastor Rob sees things differently that I do. Undoubtedly he is right as often as I am, but he is the one who does most of the talking in church. Frequently, he will say something in a way that I had not previously thought about. Hearing his perspective helps me refine my understanding of the topic under discussion. Well, not discussion in the case of his sermons, but you get the point.
In my own teaching, I have often gained insight from the Holy Spirit in the process of the teaching itself. I know a preacher a generation ahead of me whom I heard claim that he could get every bit as inspired in his study on Tuesday morning as he could in the pulpit on Sunday morning. Without being unkind here, I just never heard him sound all that inspired on Sunday morning. That brought the question to my mind of just how inspired he was on Tuesday morning.
Pastor Rob does not have a problem with lack of inspiration on Sunday morning. I have no idea where he gets his energy. Even accounting for the 20+ year difference in our ages (he is younger) he just seems as though he must be running on energizer batteries. I know I never had that much energy. In fact it wore me out typing that paragraph.
So what is the point anyway? We are all different. Obviously there is right and there is wrong. There is also a lot in between the two we just do not know. I am not talking about shades of gray here. I am talking about things we just do not know. I mean nobody knows. I am not sure we can know it all, especially where God is concerned. There are a lot of things we know. In fact the Bible tells us all that can be know about God. That is what it means that the Bible is the "word" of God. We have written about that previously in these pages. If you have forgotten, look up the word "logos" in the labels. I am not going to do all the work for you.
The ironic thing about ignorance is that we do not know what we do not know. Spiritual deception has the same irony. We do not know where we are deceived. In fact, the more ignorant we are, the less we know and the more deceived we are the more we think we are not. Selah. (Hebrew for "think about that".) God graciously gave us the concept of fellowship with one another because there is always someone who knows more, someone who has more experience, and someone who has better spiritual insight than we do. When we get the idea of Biblical fellowship down, we have access to those people. Maybe they also need some of that knowledge, experience or insight we have. We will never know that if we do not have fellowship with them. I feel a future post on fellowship coming on.
I could almost make a case for giving you my resume here, but I always hesitate to do that. I am not sure it matters anyway. Were I to do that, some would be tempted to misunderstand and think I was doing it simply to glorify myself and/or my accomplishments. There would also be those who would rightly conclude that all that study and experience and all those diplomas and certifications amount to a pile of, well, the apostle Paul called it "rubbish" in a more polite translation of Philippians 3:8. I am just a guy, a guy with a calling to be sure, but just a guy. I have written about that before too. (I tried to place that link here, but it did not want to work. It is the post from 9/20/09.)
Thank you for reading this far. My point is that education, diplomas, degrees, certifications, experience, titles, accolades, etc., like the mountains, melt like wax at the coming of the Lord. (Psalm 97:5) I might have started something at the end of the previous post when I did not comment on a verse of scripture. I probably should not comment further on that. God bless.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Something for Everyone
The sunrise is going to catch me at this keyboard. The annoying thing about that is it is Saturday. I am not entirely sure why I awakened so early, but then this mental/spiritual/I do not know what thing started rattling around in my head and I knew it was more likely that I would take a nap this afternoon than get back to sleep this morning.
This week has been more eventful than my weeks often are. I learned a couple things. I cannot remember them both although I expect them to come back before I complete this post. What do you expect from a sleep-deprived man my age anyway?
Oh yes, we were talking about the week. Tuesday morning I met with my chiropractor. You remember him, the high school classmate who seems larger than life as a person, a professional, and however else one can be larger than life. In any event, I asked him if we could meet because I had a couple things on my mind and I knew he was one of the few people who would hear me out without trying to interpret my motives. I like being right. I was this time.
We talked for a little over an hour. He did not really have any answers for me, but it helped tremendously that he listened and he cared. He also had some very nice things to say about this blog and my ability to teach. He told me once, a year or so ago, that maybe he was going to be my John the Baptist in some area. You know, prepare the way to somewhere, for someone, or something. I do not think I will be invited to be the keynote speaker at a chiropractors' convention so we will have to wait and see how that manifests.
Friday, I drove to Santa Barbara to meet with a labor attorney. She is a very nice, young lady and seems to be competent. She must be. She cannot be but about forty years old and is a partner in the oldest law firm in Santa Barbara. Yes, forty is young when you look as far back at it as I do. By the way, she says I have a good case. There is even something interesting about that. You know we have a new director at the mission right? I think I told you that. Forgive me, it is barely 5:00 AM. Anyway, my job seems to be becoming what the company is claiming it has been all along, a professional position. We, the new director and I, interviewed a prospective team member together yesterday. (Semi-competent help has been one of my pet peeves, but I had never been asked for my input during the hiring process before.) I have also been asked to completely rewrite our recovery program. I am pretty sure both of those would fall under the general category of "professional activities" according to the law.
I returned home from that meeting and checked a few things around the house. It was about lunch time and I was feeling a little hungry. Since the men would not be at the mission for lunch I decided to get a Costco hot dog on the way to work. I was minding my own business, eating alone, watching the ebb and flow of the crowd when in walked five of our superior court judges. (Since I have related that event to other people, I guess it is amusing they were having lunch at Costco, but I did not think about that at the time.) I had at least brushed up against each of them professionally at some point and I know one of them a little more personally. Of course I was out of context at Costco so I had to remind them who I am. To make a long story short, if it is not already too late, they ended up at the table with me. I began to excuse myself when I finished, but was invited to stay. I stayed and visited with them, even entertained them with a funny story about a deputy District Attorney. I have absolutely no idea how this story relates to anything except maybe that we had a very brief discussion about the need for more recovery facilities in our part of the world.
I did have something of an endorphin rush leaving that, chance meeting. I felt a little giddy. Costco hot dogs have never done that to me before so I am assuming it was the company and the conversation. Perhaps it was just that a nobody like me was recognized by some of the power elite in the county. My own analysis is that it showed me I really do have a place, in Santa Maria and in the recovery community. I know I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing, but it is nice to have it confirmed from time to time.
When the rabbis of Jesus' time taught using parables they inserted different levels of meaning into them. In doing so, they were able to teach different people at different levels of mental, emotional, and spiritual understanding all at the same time. I am not smart enough to do that in these posts, but I just now realized I have done that in this one.
I will leave you with Proverbs 10:19. You will probably understand why. "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." (hint: that is all I was supposed to write today.)
This week has been more eventful than my weeks often are. I learned a couple things. I cannot remember them both although I expect them to come back before I complete this post. What do you expect from a sleep-deprived man my age anyway?
Oh yes, we were talking about the week. Tuesday morning I met with my chiropractor. You remember him, the high school classmate who seems larger than life as a person, a professional, and however else one can be larger than life. In any event, I asked him if we could meet because I had a couple things on my mind and I knew he was one of the few people who would hear me out without trying to interpret my motives. I like being right. I was this time.
We talked for a little over an hour. He did not really have any answers for me, but it helped tremendously that he listened and he cared. He also had some very nice things to say about this blog and my ability to teach. He told me once, a year or so ago, that maybe he was going to be my John the Baptist in some area. You know, prepare the way to somewhere, for someone, or something. I do not think I will be invited to be the keynote speaker at a chiropractors' convention so we will have to wait and see how that manifests.
Friday, I drove to Santa Barbara to meet with a labor attorney. She is a very nice, young lady and seems to be competent. She must be. She cannot be but about forty years old and is a partner in the oldest law firm in Santa Barbara. Yes, forty is young when you look as far back at it as I do. By the way, she says I have a good case. There is even something interesting about that. You know we have a new director at the mission right? I think I told you that. Forgive me, it is barely 5:00 AM. Anyway, my job seems to be becoming what the company is claiming it has been all along, a professional position. We, the new director and I, interviewed a prospective team member together yesterday. (Semi-competent help has been one of my pet peeves, but I had never been asked for my input during the hiring process before.) I have also been asked to completely rewrite our recovery program. I am pretty sure both of those would fall under the general category of "professional activities" according to the law.
I returned home from that meeting and checked a few things around the house. It was about lunch time and I was feeling a little hungry. Since the men would not be at the mission for lunch I decided to get a Costco hot dog on the way to work. I was minding my own business, eating alone, watching the ebb and flow of the crowd when in walked five of our superior court judges. (Since I have related that event to other people, I guess it is amusing they were having lunch at Costco, but I did not think about that at the time.) I had at least brushed up against each of them professionally at some point and I know one of them a little more personally. Of course I was out of context at Costco so I had to remind them who I am. To make a long story short, if it is not already too late, they ended up at the table with me. I began to excuse myself when I finished, but was invited to stay. I stayed and visited with them, even entertained them with a funny story about a deputy District Attorney. I have absolutely no idea how this story relates to anything except maybe that we had a very brief discussion about the need for more recovery facilities in our part of the world.
I did have something of an endorphin rush leaving that, chance meeting. I felt a little giddy. Costco hot dogs have never done that to me before so I am assuming it was the company and the conversation. Perhaps it was just that a nobody like me was recognized by some of the power elite in the county. My own analysis is that it showed me I really do have a place, in Santa Maria and in the recovery community. I know I am where I am supposed to be, doing what I am supposed to be doing, but it is nice to have it confirmed from time to time.
When the rabbis of Jesus' time taught using parables they inserted different levels of meaning into them. In doing so, they were able to teach different people at different levels of mental, emotional, and spiritual understanding all at the same time. I am not smart enough to do that in these posts, but I just now realized I have done that in this one.
I will leave you with Proverbs 10:19. You will probably understand why. "When words are many, sin is not absent, but he who holds his tongue is wise." (hint: that is all I was supposed to write today.)
Saturday, August 21, 2010
Business As Usual Is Not Always
Glenn Beck is on television Saturday afternoons. I did not know that. I had to ice my back because I had been to the chiropractor and the adjustment caused some spasming. The best place to do that is in my recliner which just happens to be placed directly in front of the television. I took that as a sign I should turn on the television while I sat for twenty minutes.
All that is to say, Glenn Beck was on. He was talking about civil rights and the struggles in this country in the 1950's and '60's. I do not really remember much about that since there were probably fewer than 100 black people in Santa Maria at the time. We lived outside of town in the '60's and I recall about 5 black students in our high school of 1,700. Racial tensions simply were not a big deal. Well, maybe they were the day a group of Hispanic students barricaded themselves in the band room for fear of the ranchers' kids. Or maybe I was just clueless, but in any event, I hardly noticed any racial tensions.
There are a lot of people in the Santa Maria valley who have no idea there is a religious spirit keeping a lid on God's people. Unfortunately that includes most of the people in most of the churches. The problem with that is that traditional models of ministry will only go so far until that spirit is removed or at least muted. We mentioned that in passing in the previous post.
When we returned to southern California in 1987, we ultimately landed in Santa Maria where I had grown up. For those of you who do not know the story, moving here was the beginning of God doing the things He had shown me over a couple years. Those things culminated in a very specific word from the Holy Spirit's mouth to my ears, so to speak, that I needed to be in Santa Maria. You might want to revisit some of the very early posts if that is not quite enough of an explanation.
When we moved here, people were naturally curious and asked where we had come from. We told them we had been in Davis, California for seven years, but had just recently moved from the San Fernando valley. Several people commented the spiritual warfare in Davis must have been intense. We used to chuckle at that--not because they were wrong, but because they were right--about Davis. What they failed to realize was that everyone in Davis who knew about spiritual warfare knew what the battle involved. The newspaper regularly carried stories about gay rights, the pro-choice movement in town, and similar things.
During the time we were in Davis, we saw some significant victories. At some point in the future we may even find out what part we had to play in those victories. We saw the Scientologists move away because they could not afford to stay. We helped with the formation of a crisis pregnancy center which ultimately led to the end of Planned Parenthood in Davis. We saw more than a few people come to faith in Jesus. We had a part in the first annual, community, Easter, sunrise service organized with the cooperative efforts of the evangelical churches in the city. Some of those accomplishments are more significant than others, but all are verifiable. They really happened. No one can debate them.
When we recognize spiritual victories, or seek to find the causes of those things happening, the reasons are not usually obvious. In other words, why did the Scientologists run out of money when it seems Scientologists never run out of money? Why was the Crisis Pregnancy Center able to replace Planned Parenthood? We know the spirits behind those organizations had to go first. The spirits always have to be dealt with first.
I clearly remember my prayer when I realized the Lord was calling us to leave Davis and head south. I kind of half questioned, half complained that it seemed we really had not accomplished much. The Holy Spirit responded, "I did not send you here for the sake of Davis. I sent you here for the sake of David." I realized those seven years were just continuing education. In addition to the victories mentioned above, there are people from the church we started there who are in various forms of ministry in several different places. Sometimes the things that appear to be wasted motion to us are all part of God's well thought out plan.
At least a part of God's well thought out plan in Santa Maria right now is preparing people, and calling people he has already prepared to be part of bringing down the religious spirit. The first step in that is awareness of the problem, i.e., the existence of a religious spirit. There does not seem to be much else to say except to encourage us all to ask if we are part of the solution or if we even understand this is not business as usual.
All that is to say, Glenn Beck was on. He was talking about civil rights and the struggles in this country in the 1950's and '60's. I do not really remember much about that since there were probably fewer than 100 black people in Santa Maria at the time. We lived outside of town in the '60's and I recall about 5 black students in our high school of 1,700. Racial tensions simply were not a big deal. Well, maybe they were the day a group of Hispanic students barricaded themselves in the band room for fear of the ranchers' kids. Or maybe I was just clueless, but in any event, I hardly noticed any racial tensions.
There are a lot of people in the Santa Maria valley who have no idea there is a religious spirit keeping a lid on God's people. Unfortunately that includes most of the people in most of the churches. The problem with that is that traditional models of ministry will only go so far until that spirit is removed or at least muted. We mentioned that in passing in the previous post.
When we returned to southern California in 1987, we ultimately landed in Santa Maria where I had grown up. For those of you who do not know the story, moving here was the beginning of God doing the things He had shown me over a couple years. Those things culminated in a very specific word from the Holy Spirit's mouth to my ears, so to speak, that I needed to be in Santa Maria. You might want to revisit some of the very early posts if that is not quite enough of an explanation.
When we moved here, people were naturally curious and asked where we had come from. We told them we had been in Davis, California for seven years, but had just recently moved from the San Fernando valley. Several people commented the spiritual warfare in Davis must have been intense. We used to chuckle at that--not because they were wrong, but because they were right--about Davis. What they failed to realize was that everyone in Davis who knew about spiritual warfare knew what the battle involved. The newspaper regularly carried stories about gay rights, the pro-choice movement in town, and similar things.
During the time we were in Davis, we saw some significant victories. At some point in the future we may even find out what part we had to play in those victories. We saw the Scientologists move away because they could not afford to stay. We helped with the formation of a crisis pregnancy center which ultimately led to the end of Planned Parenthood in Davis. We saw more than a few people come to faith in Jesus. We had a part in the first annual, community, Easter, sunrise service organized with the cooperative efforts of the evangelical churches in the city. Some of those accomplishments are more significant than others, but all are verifiable. They really happened. No one can debate them.
When we recognize spiritual victories, or seek to find the causes of those things happening, the reasons are not usually obvious. In other words, why did the Scientologists run out of money when it seems Scientologists never run out of money? Why was the Crisis Pregnancy Center able to replace Planned Parenthood? We know the spirits behind those organizations had to go first. The spirits always have to be dealt with first.
I clearly remember my prayer when I realized the Lord was calling us to leave Davis and head south. I kind of half questioned, half complained that it seemed we really had not accomplished much. The Holy Spirit responded, "I did not send you here for the sake of Davis. I sent you here for the sake of David." I realized those seven years were just continuing education. In addition to the victories mentioned above, there are people from the church we started there who are in various forms of ministry in several different places. Sometimes the things that appear to be wasted motion to us are all part of God's well thought out plan.
At least a part of God's well thought out plan in Santa Maria right now is preparing people, and calling people he has already prepared to be part of bringing down the religious spirit. The first step in that is awareness of the problem, i.e., the existence of a religious spirit. There does not seem to be much else to say except to encourage us all to ask if we are part of the solution or if we even understand this is not business as usual.
Sunday, August 8, 2010
The Troubler of Israel
I was in the shower this morning, kind of running over current events in my mind when I recalled an event from almost 23 years ago. I am not entirely sure I have not mentioned it in these pages before, but since I recalled it, you get to recall it too.
The family had moved to Santa Maria, but my job transfer had not come through so I was still in the San Fernando valley during the week. The workdays went from 8:00 AM until 7:00 PM or thereabouts much of the time. Probably the last thing I wanted to do on Wednesday evenings was go to a church service. I am really not sure why I went that night. It was probably a divine appointment, at least it turned out to be. There ended up being about five people in the service after the children and their teachers had gone to do whatever it is children do at such times. The pastor suggested we each take some time to pray individually and then come back together for a time of corporate prayer. I guess five people is some kind of corporate.
The Holy Spirit was in the back of the church waiting for me. I had almost found a place to get on my knees and pray when I clearly heard the question, "Is that you, you troubler of Israel?" I started to laugh. I immediately recognized the reference to 1 Kings 18:17. In case you are not familiar with it, that is the greeting King Ahab gave Elijah when the prophet returned from a camping trip. Elijah's response was that he was not the one troubling Israel, but rather it was Ahab's family who had brought God's judgement upon the nation.
We were doing a good work in a local church in Santa Maria. We were leading a Sunday school class and home group meeting. We were seeing people, healed and set free. I made a couple mistakes in teaching at those meetings. I actually said the Bible teaches that elders are men. That got me a correction in front of the Sunday school class. Then I pointed out to a group of men the pastor would only choose men to be elders who agreed with him. Silly me, I thought that was a no-brainer. When I was a pastor I certainly would not have considered appointing an elder who I thought disagreed with me in any significant area of doctrine or church leadership. (I know it is hard to believe it is as simple and straightforward as it sounds here, but there are people who can verify what I am saying.)
Obviously I could not be allowed to continue ministering in that church or even attend there with such heinous, abberant doctrine. I was invited, not so politely, to leave the church. We had four children ages ten and under. I was not going to expose them to a church fight. So we left. To bring the story full circle, we were invited to come back to the church years later and declined believing the same spirit was still there. At the time we did not realize it was a manifestation of the religious spirit in that church.
It was in the interim time, while the church council was trying to decide what to do with me, that I attended that midweek service in the San Fernando valley. You may not even be able to imagine what a relief it was, 1) to really understand, with certainty and clarity, that I was not the problem, and 2) to have the Holy Spirit joke with me about it. I needed that laugh.
I seem to be in a similar situation as I write this. There are a few essential differences this time. I am over the fear of man. I know there is nothing any man can do to me that can nullify the grace of God in my life. (Thanks for hammering on that Pastor Craig Hamlin.) I recognize the battle this time for what it is--and who it is. It is not about any man or group of men. It is about a foul, evil, religious spirit that has the Santa Maria valley in it's clutches and is fighting to not let go. My kids are grown and gone. I do not have to protect them from any attacks that might come. I am a little bit angry this spirit has stolen so much of my life and whatever ministry would have been done in that time. I am not going to take it anymore. More than that, I am not going to lose. I refuse to lose. There are a few other people catching this vision. Praise God! That is why I am telling this story, maybe for the second time. I am really not sure. I could have looked that up, but then you might have missed something important had this post not been written. I wonder if that makes any sense? See you soon. God bless.
I could not resist. I went back to see if I had mentioned this before. I had, but only a mention in part three of The Workings of a Religious Spirit. If you are interested: http://thechurchinsantamariaca.blogspot.com/2009/06/workings-of-religious-spirit-part-3.html
The family had moved to Santa Maria, but my job transfer had not come through so I was still in the San Fernando valley during the week. The workdays went from 8:00 AM until 7:00 PM or thereabouts much of the time. Probably the last thing I wanted to do on Wednesday evenings was go to a church service. I am really not sure why I went that night. It was probably a divine appointment, at least it turned out to be. There ended up being about five people in the service after the children and their teachers had gone to do whatever it is children do at such times. The pastor suggested we each take some time to pray individually and then come back together for a time of corporate prayer. I guess five people is some kind of corporate.
The Holy Spirit was in the back of the church waiting for me. I had almost found a place to get on my knees and pray when I clearly heard the question, "Is that you, you troubler of Israel?" I started to laugh. I immediately recognized the reference to 1 Kings 18:17. In case you are not familiar with it, that is the greeting King Ahab gave Elijah when the prophet returned from a camping trip. Elijah's response was that he was not the one troubling Israel, but rather it was Ahab's family who had brought God's judgement upon the nation.
We were doing a good work in a local church in Santa Maria. We were leading a Sunday school class and home group meeting. We were seeing people, healed and set free. I made a couple mistakes in teaching at those meetings. I actually said the Bible teaches that elders are men. That got me a correction in front of the Sunday school class. Then I pointed out to a group of men the pastor would only choose men to be elders who agreed with him. Silly me, I thought that was a no-brainer. When I was a pastor I certainly would not have considered appointing an elder who I thought disagreed with me in any significant area of doctrine or church leadership. (I know it is hard to believe it is as simple and straightforward as it sounds here, but there are people who can verify what I am saying.)
Obviously I could not be allowed to continue ministering in that church or even attend there with such heinous, abberant doctrine. I was invited, not so politely, to leave the church. We had four children ages ten and under. I was not going to expose them to a church fight. So we left. To bring the story full circle, we were invited to come back to the church years later and declined believing the same spirit was still there. At the time we did not realize it was a manifestation of the religious spirit in that church.
It was in the interim time, while the church council was trying to decide what to do with me, that I attended that midweek service in the San Fernando valley. You may not even be able to imagine what a relief it was, 1) to really understand, with certainty and clarity, that I was not the problem, and 2) to have the Holy Spirit joke with me about it. I needed that laugh.
I seem to be in a similar situation as I write this. There are a few essential differences this time. I am over the fear of man. I know there is nothing any man can do to me that can nullify the grace of God in my life. (Thanks for hammering on that Pastor Craig Hamlin.) I recognize the battle this time for what it is--and who it is. It is not about any man or group of men. It is about a foul, evil, religious spirit that has the Santa Maria valley in it's clutches and is fighting to not let go. My kids are grown and gone. I do not have to protect them from any attacks that might come. I am a little bit angry this spirit has stolen so much of my life and whatever ministry would have been done in that time. I am not going to take it anymore. More than that, I am not going to lose. I refuse to lose. There are a few other people catching this vision. Praise God! That is why I am telling this story, maybe for the second time. I am really not sure. I could have looked that up, but then you might have missed something important had this post not been written. I wonder if that makes any sense? See you soon. God bless.
I could not resist. I went back to see if I had mentioned this before. I had, but only a mention in part three of The Workings of a Religious Spirit. If you are interested: http://thechurchinsantamariaca.blogspot.com/2009/06/workings-of-religious-spirit-part-3.html
Friday, August 6, 2010
Perhaps I Should Clarify
I had a gentleman read my blog earlier in the week. He started somewhere around post 60, I think, from what he said. Missing the context of what went on before, he seemed to think I was attacking certain people in these pages. I am pretty confident those of you who have been reading the blog all along do not think that, but perhaps it is time to review some things in that regard.
This blog was started in direct response to the direction of the Holy Spirit that I have been called to expose and help defeat the religious spirit that rules the Santa Maria valley. It seemed obvious to me then as it does now that I would be recording my journey through that assignment as well as letting you know what needed to be done and thereby mobilizing anyone who cared to join the battle.
I do not criticize people--often. Sorry, that was getting close to being a fib. (Polite term for lie, i.e., sin.) Anyway, I do try to not criticize people. I observe, evaluate, and report facts. For example, if someone does something dumb and I say they did something dumb, that is reporting. I report after I have observed and evaluated. My wife tells me I process out loud too often and sometimes in front of people who do not need to be made custodians of the information. She, by the way, is not the first person who has said that. Perhaps I should take it under consideration. (I trust you did not miss the tongue in cheek nature of that last sentence?)
I am working on not telling everything I know lest I embarrass someone who does not need to be embarrassed. For example I have not told you about... Just kidding. My problem is that when one talks and writes as much as I do, and knows as little as I do, some errant words are bound to land on a page or fly into the air. That kind of reminds me of Proverbs 10:19, "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking." (I like to prove scripture whenever I can.)
Having said those things, let me also say, I was accused, once again, of possibly being a prophet. Oh please. (God?) I seem to know things most other people do not know. Does that make me a prophet? Conversely, other people seem to know things I do not know. I used to tease my mother, in her later years, of remembering things that never happened. I think she really did.
One of the ways God showed me to recognize the workings of a religious spirit is to discern the lies that are being told about His people. I work with drug addicts, alcoholics, and criminals. Some of them are even in my program. (Insert silly laughter here.) Sometimes it is very difficult to know the truth of what is being said. Sometimes it seems impossible. I have taken the approach of not believing anything about anyone until I see it for myself. I am not the person to come to if you want justice because you feel you were wronged. My default is to ask how that happened to you if you were truly walking in love toward the person you feel wronged you? (Uh oh, too close to home. Subject change in 5, 4, 3, 2,..)
I report. I do not get offended. I honestly believe am unoffendable. You can be stupid if you want. Have I mentioned the time I was in a judge's chambers and he insulted me in front of a whole group of other program providers, and various and sundry members of law enforcement and the judiciary? I had made a suggestion I thought reasonable. He did not think it was. Rather than saying that, he made an oblique reference to my understanding of the law or, in this case, my lack thereof. My first thought was soulical. He should not have done that. That was rude! My second thought, perhaps more spiritual was, he is the judge. I am in his chambers. He can do whatever he wants. By the way, I have testified in his court since then and consulted on other cases with him. I think he respects me in some, small measure. We do not always agree, but then neither one of us gets any kind of reward for agreeing with each other. I had a probation officer tell me a few weeks ago that she understood we were not going to agree on everything and that was a good thing. That makes for a better chance that justice will ultimately be served.
I know our battle is not against people. It is against spirits. (That might be one of those things I know that lots of people tend to forget.) In this blog, we are particularly battling against the religious spirit that rules the Santa Maria valley. Earlier posts to this blog give a wealth of information as to the workings of a religious spirit. It should be noted that sometimes, people or organizations outside this valley assist the spirit, however unwittingly they might do that.
It is estimated that between 18 and 22% of the people in this valley attend church on any given Sunday morning. We will know we are winning the battle when that number rises to 30% then 40% and miracles become so routine we begin to expect them. Yes, it can happen. I am in the battle until it does. By the way, I have a new ally. I cannot tell you about him yet. I am not quite sure he knows it himself. In the meantime, the Lord is gathering more mighty men around me. I am not going to name them yet. It might go to their heads. (If you know who you are, let me know.) (Sometimes I crack myself up.) Later saints, servants, and disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ! God bless!
This blog was started in direct response to the direction of the Holy Spirit that I have been called to expose and help defeat the religious spirit that rules the Santa Maria valley. It seemed obvious to me then as it does now that I would be recording my journey through that assignment as well as letting you know what needed to be done and thereby mobilizing anyone who cared to join the battle.
I do not criticize people--often. Sorry, that was getting close to being a fib. (Polite term for lie, i.e., sin.) Anyway, I do try to not criticize people. I observe, evaluate, and report facts. For example, if someone does something dumb and I say they did something dumb, that is reporting. I report after I have observed and evaluated. My wife tells me I process out loud too often and sometimes in front of people who do not need to be made custodians of the information. She, by the way, is not the first person who has said that. Perhaps I should take it under consideration. (I trust you did not miss the tongue in cheek nature of that last sentence?)
I am working on not telling everything I know lest I embarrass someone who does not need to be embarrassed. For example I have not told you about... Just kidding. My problem is that when one talks and writes as much as I do, and knows as little as I do, some errant words are bound to land on a page or fly into the air. That kind of reminds me of Proverbs 10:19, "In the multitude of words, sin is not lacking." (I like to prove scripture whenever I can.)
Having said those things, let me also say, I was accused, once again, of possibly being a prophet. Oh please. (God?) I seem to know things most other people do not know. Does that make me a prophet? Conversely, other people seem to know things I do not know. I used to tease my mother, in her later years, of remembering things that never happened. I think she really did.
One of the ways God showed me to recognize the workings of a religious spirit is to discern the lies that are being told about His people. I work with drug addicts, alcoholics, and criminals. Some of them are even in my program. (Insert silly laughter here.) Sometimes it is very difficult to know the truth of what is being said. Sometimes it seems impossible. I have taken the approach of not believing anything about anyone until I see it for myself. I am not the person to come to if you want justice because you feel you were wronged. My default is to ask how that happened to you if you were truly walking in love toward the person you feel wronged you? (Uh oh, too close to home. Subject change in 5, 4, 3, 2,..)
I report. I do not get offended. I honestly believe am unoffendable. You can be stupid if you want. Have I mentioned the time I was in a judge's chambers and he insulted me in front of a whole group of other program providers, and various and sundry members of law enforcement and the judiciary? I had made a suggestion I thought reasonable. He did not think it was. Rather than saying that, he made an oblique reference to my understanding of the law or, in this case, my lack thereof. My first thought was soulical. He should not have done that. That was rude! My second thought, perhaps more spiritual was, he is the judge. I am in his chambers. He can do whatever he wants. By the way, I have testified in his court since then and consulted on other cases with him. I think he respects me in some, small measure. We do not always agree, but then neither one of us gets any kind of reward for agreeing with each other. I had a probation officer tell me a few weeks ago that she understood we were not going to agree on everything and that was a good thing. That makes for a better chance that justice will ultimately be served.
I know our battle is not against people. It is against spirits. (That might be one of those things I know that lots of people tend to forget.) In this blog, we are particularly battling against the religious spirit that rules the Santa Maria valley. Earlier posts to this blog give a wealth of information as to the workings of a religious spirit. It should be noted that sometimes, people or organizations outside this valley assist the spirit, however unwittingly they might do that.
It is estimated that between 18 and 22% of the people in this valley attend church on any given Sunday morning. We will know we are winning the battle when that number rises to 30% then 40% and miracles become so routine we begin to expect them. Yes, it can happen. I am in the battle until it does. By the way, I have a new ally. I cannot tell you about him yet. I am not quite sure he knows it himself. In the meantime, the Lord is gathering more mighty men around me. I am not going to name them yet. It might go to their heads. (If you know who you are, let me know.) (Sometimes I crack myself up.) Later saints, servants, and disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ! God bless!
Saturday, July 31, 2010
The Plan Unfolds
God always has a plan. Most of us spend a lot of time trying to discern what the plan is and how we fit into it. That may not be as difficult as it seems. There are a few things that will certainly help us in this regard.
Do not be intimidated. When we have an appropriate fear of God, we understand that we cannot understand Him in any large measure. This is the reason the human soul falls so short in attempting to quantify God. We think we should be able to somehow measure everything. God is immeasurable. He does not come in cups, or feet, or meters, or even in space, and He exists outside of time. All our measurements fail to give us even the slightest idea of how big, what, or who God is. The only way we can know anything about God is through His word, the Bible.
The New Testament was originally written in Greek. Time and space limitations prohibit us from discussing how the Bible came to be. We Christians believe we have enough evidence to determine the words that comprise it are God breathed. In fact, the Greek word, logos, translated "word" literally means, "everything that can be known about the subject at hand." In other words, when we understand the Bible as the "Word of God" we know it contains everything that can be known about God. The Bible says it is the Word of God and also refers to Jesus as the Word of God making each of them the complete representation of God. When we understand the Bible, and when we know Jesus, we know all that can be known about God. That can be a little intimidating. He is so big and we are so small. Then again, that is the whole point. A God our size would not be of much help when we come to the end of our resources.
Understand your personal vision. Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint..." Think of it this way, when we are not hearing from God and cannot see what He is doing in our lives, we are naturally inclined to do whatever we think is right. We have been reminded several times in these pages that the way of man always leads to death. When we do what seems like the right thing to us, we always go the wrong direction. It almost seems redundant then, to say that if we are listening to and heeding the voice of the Holy Spirit, we will be going the right way.
Develop your personal relationship with God. Of course the advice here is the wisdom of the ages in the church. Pray, read your Bible, and be in fellowship with other believers. That is still excellent advice. As usual, there is a word of caution there. It goes with the third piece of advice.
It is my considered opinion that the church of today is a far cry from what it should be. If we assume that to be true, continuing in fellowship is not a fail safe to keep us unspotted from the world. (James 1:27) We need to be in fellowship with the right group of believers. How would we find that right group? Trust me, that is not all that easy. I know. I have looked. Okay, how about we work this backwards? What would the single most important issue here be? Would it not be finding the place God wants us to be? Darn, that only brought us full circle to finding what God's plan is for us?
What if we save the third piece of advice above for third place? Now we might be getting somewhere. Remember, the order was, pray, read the Bible, then be in fellowship. I know, most people think they do not hear God. Nothing could really be further from the truth. We hear God all the time. We just do not recognize it is Him talking to us. Let me leave you with that thought for now.
Prayer is not just talking. Talking is only half of prayer. Prayer is supposed to be a dialogue, not a monologue.
Talk and then listen. Do you hear anything?
No.
Talk and then listen. Now do you hear anything?
Maybe. I kind of had a thought pop into my head. Could that have been God?
What was the thought?
Oh, just something about someone I am not walking in love toward as I should be. Someone I offended.
Does that sound like something in the Bible?
Yeah.
Maybe it is God. Are you going to do anything about it?
I guess I should.
Does that sound like any kind of experience you might have had in the past? Maybe it was God speaking to you. Have you done what He told you to do? If the answer is "No" that might be why He has not said anything else. Just a thought.
I started this post to say, I can see God's plan unfolding in my life. I have no idea what kinds of twists and turns might come along the way. The indications are they could be unfolding quickly now. There may be an exit in the near future. If there is it is all good. If not, it might be even better. If you know me at all you know I will keep doing what I am doing until God gives me something different to do. See you soon.
Do not be intimidated. When we have an appropriate fear of God, we understand that we cannot understand Him in any large measure. This is the reason the human soul falls so short in attempting to quantify God. We think we should be able to somehow measure everything. God is immeasurable. He does not come in cups, or feet, or meters, or even in space, and He exists outside of time. All our measurements fail to give us even the slightest idea of how big, what, or who God is. The only way we can know anything about God is through His word, the Bible.
The New Testament was originally written in Greek. Time and space limitations prohibit us from discussing how the Bible came to be. We Christians believe we have enough evidence to determine the words that comprise it are God breathed. In fact, the Greek word, logos, translated "word" literally means, "everything that can be known about the subject at hand." In other words, when we understand the Bible as the "Word of God" we know it contains everything that can be known about God. The Bible says it is the Word of God and also refers to Jesus as the Word of God making each of them the complete representation of God. When we understand the Bible, and when we know Jesus, we know all that can be known about God. That can be a little intimidating. He is so big and we are so small. Then again, that is the whole point. A God our size would not be of much help when we come to the end of our resources.
Understand your personal vision. Proverbs 29:18 says, "Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint..." Think of it this way, when we are not hearing from God and cannot see what He is doing in our lives, we are naturally inclined to do whatever we think is right. We have been reminded several times in these pages that the way of man always leads to death. When we do what seems like the right thing to us, we always go the wrong direction. It almost seems redundant then, to say that if we are listening to and heeding the voice of the Holy Spirit, we will be going the right way.
Develop your personal relationship with God. Of course the advice here is the wisdom of the ages in the church. Pray, read your Bible, and be in fellowship with other believers. That is still excellent advice. As usual, there is a word of caution there. It goes with the third piece of advice.
It is my considered opinion that the church of today is a far cry from what it should be. If we assume that to be true, continuing in fellowship is not a fail safe to keep us unspotted from the world. (James 1:27) We need to be in fellowship with the right group of believers. How would we find that right group? Trust me, that is not all that easy. I know. I have looked. Okay, how about we work this backwards? What would the single most important issue here be? Would it not be finding the place God wants us to be? Darn, that only brought us full circle to finding what God's plan is for us?
What if we save the third piece of advice above for third place? Now we might be getting somewhere. Remember, the order was, pray, read the Bible, then be in fellowship. I know, most people think they do not hear God. Nothing could really be further from the truth. We hear God all the time. We just do not recognize it is Him talking to us. Let me leave you with that thought for now.
Prayer is not just talking. Talking is only half of prayer. Prayer is supposed to be a dialogue, not a monologue.
Talk and then listen. Do you hear anything?
No.
Talk and then listen. Now do you hear anything?
Maybe. I kind of had a thought pop into my head. Could that have been God?
What was the thought?
Oh, just something about someone I am not walking in love toward as I should be. Someone I offended.
Does that sound like something in the Bible?
Yeah.
Maybe it is God. Are you going to do anything about it?
I guess I should.
Does that sound like any kind of experience you might have had in the past? Maybe it was God speaking to you. Have you done what He told you to do? If the answer is "No" that might be why He has not said anything else. Just a thought.
I started this post to say, I can see God's plan unfolding in my life. I have no idea what kinds of twists and turns might come along the way. The indications are they could be unfolding quickly now. There may be an exit in the near future. If there is it is all good. If not, it might be even better. If you know me at all you know I will keep doing what I am doing until God gives me something different to do. See you soon.
Saturday, July 17, 2010
O God, What Have I Done
Editor's note: For those of you who have trouble discerning between deadly serious and tongue in-cheek-in these pages, please be assured, this is the latter--especially the title.
I am probably feeling just a little intimidated today. I know many of you are wondering why it has been almost a month since anything was published on this blog. The answers to both these questions are the same. We are going to go ahead and publish this even though it could cause a little discomfort if the wrong people read it within the next few weeks. After that, this will all be a recording of historical events.
I really was just frustrated, and maybe a little righteously angry. (I always hesitate to use and variants of "righteous" and "angry" in juxtaposition, but if this is not a case of righteous anger then my whole premise here is actually a deception.) For the third time in a matter of a few weeks, I was put in the uncomfortable situation of having to deal with a program participant whom I had already dismissed from the program for a rules violation. Each time, they had appealed my decision and were allowed to remain in the program. They had each managed to find other ways to violate the rules. Rather than being able to sit at my desk and say, "I told you so." to the person who had overridden my decision, I was asked to rectify the situation by telling the client a second time he would need to pack his belongings and leave. I was doing a slow burn. It was the end of the workday. After completing the task, I tried to put it out of my mind. That was working pretty well until I got into bed.
Now why is it the Holy Spirit waits until we are settling down for the night or just about to be awake in the morning before dropping important things into our spirits? Maybe you do not have that problem. I know, I should be listening all day long rather than just at those times. He is probably speaking at other times, but hey, I am a busy guy. I simply do not have time to be still and listen at other times. He must understand that. Why does He have to sneak up on me when I am trying to rest?
So I am crawling into bed and the anger over the event is just below the surface. That is when my mouth got me into trouble yet again. I said, "God, something has to change. I am tired of cleaning up his messes. Either he has to go or I have to go." It almost seemed like an innocent enough prayer at the time. Then why did it work so well when lots of others do not?
Perhaps you have uttered a prayer and BAM! it was answered fast enough to make your head spin. This one was all but that fast. The thing is I did not understand how much work God was going to have to do in order to answer that prayer. The prayer concerned my main antagonist, the person who had the authority to override mine. There were, however, two other, minor antagonists who needed to go before he did or they would have continued to inhibit the effectiveness of the program and be thorns in my flesh. (If this post were not satirical, I would probably remind us all that we do not battle against flesh and blood and that the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but spiritual. I read those things somewhere and I believe them.)
This all started, as nearly as I can recall, almost three months ago. The two, minor antagonists mentioned earlier are gone. The first one was gone within days of my prayer. So I could have titled this post something like, "Now There Are Three." By the way, if you read the previous post, you know we were sent an intern to fill in a few gaps in the schedule. That did not work out so well, but now we have another one. This time it is going a little better.
Currently, we are at a stalemate. We will have a new director in about two weeks. My strongest impression is that soon after that, my original prayer will be answered. God seems to have put everything in place for that to happen. Either he will be gone or I will be gone. There are a couple factors not mentioned here that make it more likely he is the one who will be going, but time will tell. In the meantime everyone at the mission, staff and program men, are holding on, hoping this is as bad as it gets. Right now no one with any authority has the will to make any changes. O God, what have I done? It seemed almost like an innocent prayer.
Often in counseling sessions with the men, it comes up that when we have a vested interest in one outcome over another, we subconsciously--or maybe even consciously-- attempt to make our desired outcome happen. I am doing my best not to have a vested interest in the outcome of this situation. If I stay, I will continue to work diligently and see lives changed at the mission. If I go, there are other things to do. It does not matter to me one way or the other where I work or even what kind of work I do. For now I am doing what I do and I am going to keep doing it until I do something else. Did I mention I could really use a vacation?
I am probably feeling just a little intimidated today. I know many of you are wondering why it has been almost a month since anything was published on this blog. The answers to both these questions are the same. We are going to go ahead and publish this even though it could cause a little discomfort if the wrong people read it within the next few weeks. After that, this will all be a recording of historical events.
I really was just frustrated, and maybe a little righteously angry. (I always hesitate to use and variants of "righteous" and "angry" in juxtaposition, but if this is not a case of righteous anger then my whole premise here is actually a deception.) For the third time in a matter of a few weeks, I was put in the uncomfortable situation of having to deal with a program participant whom I had already dismissed from the program for a rules violation. Each time, they had appealed my decision and were allowed to remain in the program. They had each managed to find other ways to violate the rules. Rather than being able to sit at my desk and say, "I told you so." to the person who had overridden my decision, I was asked to rectify the situation by telling the client a second time he would need to pack his belongings and leave. I was doing a slow burn. It was the end of the workday. After completing the task, I tried to put it out of my mind. That was working pretty well until I got into bed.
Now why is it the Holy Spirit waits until we are settling down for the night or just about to be awake in the morning before dropping important things into our spirits? Maybe you do not have that problem. I know, I should be listening all day long rather than just at those times. He is probably speaking at other times, but hey, I am a busy guy. I simply do not have time to be still and listen at other times. He must understand that. Why does He have to sneak up on me when I am trying to rest?
So I am crawling into bed and the anger over the event is just below the surface. That is when my mouth got me into trouble yet again. I said, "God, something has to change. I am tired of cleaning up his messes. Either he has to go or I have to go." It almost seemed like an innocent enough prayer at the time. Then why did it work so well when lots of others do not?
Perhaps you have uttered a prayer and BAM! it was answered fast enough to make your head spin. This one was all but that fast. The thing is I did not understand how much work God was going to have to do in order to answer that prayer. The prayer concerned my main antagonist, the person who had the authority to override mine. There were, however, two other, minor antagonists who needed to go before he did or they would have continued to inhibit the effectiveness of the program and be thorns in my flesh. (If this post were not satirical, I would probably remind us all that we do not battle against flesh and blood and that the weapons of our warfare are not fleshly, but spiritual. I read those things somewhere and I believe them.)
This all started, as nearly as I can recall, almost three months ago. The two, minor antagonists mentioned earlier are gone. The first one was gone within days of my prayer. So I could have titled this post something like, "Now There Are Three." By the way, if you read the previous post, you know we were sent an intern to fill in a few gaps in the schedule. That did not work out so well, but now we have another one. This time it is going a little better.
Currently, we are at a stalemate. We will have a new director in about two weeks. My strongest impression is that soon after that, my original prayer will be answered. God seems to have put everything in place for that to happen. Either he will be gone or I will be gone. There are a couple factors not mentioned here that make it more likely he is the one who will be going, but time will tell. In the meantime everyone at the mission, staff and program men, are holding on, hoping this is as bad as it gets. Right now no one with any authority has the will to make any changes. O God, what have I done? It seemed almost like an innocent prayer.
Often in counseling sessions with the men, it comes up that when we have a vested interest in one outcome over another, we subconsciously--or maybe even consciously-- attempt to make our desired outcome happen. I am doing my best not to have a vested interest in the outcome of this situation. If I stay, I will continue to work diligently and see lives changed at the mission. If I go, there are other things to do. It does not matter to me one way or the other where I work or even what kind of work I do. For now I am doing what I do and I am going to keep doing it until I do something else. Did I mention I could really use a vacation?
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Then There Were Four
I got the title. I am assuming this post is going to be about the goings on at work. I know they are microcosmic of the battle against the religious spirit in the area, but I do not seem to have a lot of clarity on the exact correlation just yet. Then again, it was my wife who pointed out the concept that there is a correlation. Sometimes that happens. What can I say?
We were trying to run a 24/7/365 residential program with 4 full time and 2 part time employees. That was barely doable except that one of the full timers was recalcitrant about the shift he had to work. I do mean he had to work it. His full time position required it. He continually worked and manipulated different hours until we really could not make the scheduling work. When he was finally confronted about that, we were shortly thereafter down to 5 people. Oh, I did not mention we did have an intern who was picking up something like 20 hours a week. He came to a meeting out of his mind one day. He tested positive for methamphetamine and that was that.
We hardly felt the loss of the full time employee. In fact when we divided up his hours we only came up with about 20 hours of actual work that he had been putting in each week. Of course yours truly sucked up about 8 of those hours in additional teaching time. No big deal. I teach. That is what I do. Some of the paperwork just does not get done now.
That went on for about a month I guess and one of the part time employees got to his last straw with the way things were being run. He left abruptly. That caused a major reshuffling of hours and duties. We were and are down to 3 full time and 1 part time employee. Of course the part timer is working pretty much full time hours. That means we often have only one staff member on duty at a time and we still are not there all the time the alarms are offline. That bothers me, but it is not my responsibility.
In fact, I am not entirely sure what my responsibilities are anymore anyway. I suppose because he is being replaced, the director seems reluctant to make any kind of decision. I will not make any because I know things are going to change soon and it seems like a waste to change them twice. We are kind of floundering at the mission for the time being.
BREAKING NEWS...since I started to write this blog, our part time employee was terminated. Thankfully, we were blessed with an intern to fill in until something more permanent can be done. He is there for the weekend anyway. Since he cannot drive the company vehicles, I still had to work 14 hours on Friday, but at least I get the weekend off. Wait, you get more. Get ready for this.
A week ago Friday a woman walked into my office unannounced. She was getting acquainted with the community and turned the corner in front of the mission. She thought she would check us out. She is retired from the state prison system. She worked the last few years of her career as a substance abuse counselor in a men's prison. Now she needs something to do other than yard work in her small yard so she would like to volunteer, or possibly even work part time at the mission. A God thing you think? I am not done. The following Tuesday a gentleman got out of his car and came walking up to the mission. I was the only staff member on duty so he was ushered up to my office. He is new in town and is looking for a part time job. Oh, did I mention he is a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor? His certification is from the Association of Christian Alcohol and Drug Counselors. Whatever is really going on is bigger than I. Assuming God did send them both in, that is a refreshing change from business as usual.
I guess I had better finish this post before something else major changes. I am reminded of Shakesphere's quote, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..." I'm doing my best to act out my part, but sometimes it seems as though I am simply watching the play transpire and recording the happenings for you here. I know we are getting to something, and probably something BIG. I am just not sure what it is. If you have any ideas, I am open. Love you all. God bless.
We were trying to run a 24/7/365 residential program with 4 full time and 2 part time employees. That was barely doable except that one of the full timers was recalcitrant about the shift he had to work. I do mean he had to work it. His full time position required it. He continually worked and manipulated different hours until we really could not make the scheduling work. When he was finally confronted about that, we were shortly thereafter down to 5 people. Oh, I did not mention we did have an intern who was picking up something like 20 hours a week. He came to a meeting out of his mind one day. He tested positive for methamphetamine and that was that.
We hardly felt the loss of the full time employee. In fact when we divided up his hours we only came up with about 20 hours of actual work that he had been putting in each week. Of course yours truly sucked up about 8 of those hours in additional teaching time. No big deal. I teach. That is what I do. Some of the paperwork just does not get done now.
That went on for about a month I guess and one of the part time employees got to his last straw with the way things were being run. He left abruptly. That caused a major reshuffling of hours and duties. We were and are down to 3 full time and 1 part time employee. Of course the part timer is working pretty much full time hours. That means we often have only one staff member on duty at a time and we still are not there all the time the alarms are offline. That bothers me, but it is not my responsibility.
In fact, I am not entirely sure what my responsibilities are anymore anyway. I suppose because he is being replaced, the director seems reluctant to make any kind of decision. I will not make any because I know things are going to change soon and it seems like a waste to change them twice. We are kind of floundering at the mission for the time being.
BREAKING NEWS...since I started to write this blog, our part time employee was terminated. Thankfully, we were blessed with an intern to fill in until something more permanent can be done. He is there for the weekend anyway. Since he cannot drive the company vehicles, I still had to work 14 hours on Friday, but at least I get the weekend off. Wait, you get more. Get ready for this.
A week ago Friday a woman walked into my office unannounced. She was getting acquainted with the community and turned the corner in front of the mission. She thought she would check us out. She is retired from the state prison system. She worked the last few years of her career as a substance abuse counselor in a men's prison. Now she needs something to do other than yard work in her small yard so she would like to volunteer, or possibly even work part time at the mission. A God thing you think? I am not done. The following Tuesday a gentleman got out of his car and came walking up to the mission. I was the only staff member on duty so he was ushered up to my office. He is new in town and is looking for a part time job. Oh, did I mention he is a Certified Substance Abuse Counselor? His certification is from the Association of Christian Alcohol and Drug Counselors. Whatever is really going on is bigger than I. Assuming God did send them both in, that is a refreshing change from business as usual.
I guess I had better finish this post before something else major changes. I am reminded of Shakesphere's quote, "All the world's a stage, and all the men and women merely players..." I'm doing my best to act out my part, but sometimes it seems as though I am simply watching the play transpire and recording the happenings for you here. I know we are getting to something, and probably something BIG. I am just not sure what it is. If you have any ideas, I am open. Love you all. God bless.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Saul's Worst Nightmare
Return with me to those thrilling days of yesteryear when Saul was the first king of Israel. Of course we will be missing the fiery horse with the speed of light, a cloud of dust and the hearty Hi ho Silver, away. (What an intro huh? I can almost hear the William Tell Overture in the background.) I am back. I know it has been awhile. By the time I finish this post, it may be a little longer.
The next mission we know of Samuel undertaking for God is the anointing of David to be the next king of Israel. Recall the story as David is anointed and soon is called into Saul's service as a musician to soothe Saul when he is troubled by an evil spirit. That spirit also, by the way, was a result of his disobedience. His disobedience opened a demonic gateway and allowed that spirit to trouble Saul.
Not long after that, we can almost hear the ring announcer saying something like, "In this corner, standing nine feet three inches tall and weighing 500 pounds, Gooooooollllliiiiiiaaaathhhhh." That was moments before one stone sent him tumbling to the ground. David took his head and his weapons. (I am not totally sure why that was important.)
And the rest of the story is that some years later, Saul did die in battle and David assumed the leadership of Israel. It is in that interim time period that David was on the run from Saul. God sent faithful men to be with David in the wilderness. He had 400 of the most frustrated, disheartened, disenfranchised men in Israel as his army. God was redeeming them all.
There was a very interesting twist to the situation at work a few weeks ago now. At least it was interesting my mind. (If you do not know about what is going on you may want to read the couple previous posts.) I doubt I can count all the times I have heard the story of David and and Saul, especially as an analogy for submitting to the powers that be in our lives. A few weeks ago, though, it came from someone up the chain of command from me. That was interesting because, as we have mentioned before, my name is David--and--Saul was up the chain of command from David. Of course my mind started working on that. It occurred to me that since I am David, if the story relates to me at all, the person up the chain would have to be in the place of Saul.
Stick with me here while I process this. So Saul (the rejected, but still sitting king) is saying, "You have to be in submission to me because I am the king." What is bothering me has to do with the directive to obey coming from the person who was judged unworthy by God. I really mean to say was bothering me because, of course, as I wrote that, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a verse from the New Testament. Romans 11:29 says, "For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable." You do not have to be an attorney to understand irrevocable. It means once the gifts and calling of God come to a person, they will never be taken back. Saul certainly was called by God to be king. There can be no doubt of that. Therefore, that call continued until his death regardless of David being anointed.
Ok, so that is not really a very good analogy for what is going on here, but perhaps it can at least be a talking point for reference. In my opinion it would never be appropriate to equate being king over a kingdom with being an officer, director or manager in a company. I say that because a king answers to no one other than God. An employee, regardless of rank, answers to God first and his employer next (unless he is married, but we will not go there right now.) In this time, this dispensation if you like, all God's people answer to God--when there is a choice to be made. We are to be like Peter and John in front of the Sanhedrin. "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than God, you judge." (Acts 4:19)
Saul disobeyed God. God had told Saul to utterly destroy the Amalakites. God was done being patient with them. He told Saul to destroy everyone and everything. Saul killed most of the people and destroyed everything that he did not want to keep. When we look at it that way, it almost seems trivial. Apparently, Saul thought so too as we can infer from his response when Samuel showed up. (The account is in 1 Samuel 15.) However, disobedience is disobedience and when we cannot obey in the smallest things, we cannot be trusted to obey in larger things. God sends the little things along to teach us how to obey in the larger things.
God watched Saul keep the good things of the Amalakites and He sent Samuel to confront him about it. Saul had not the slightest inkling of shame. He greeted Samuel as he undoubtedly had many other times. When Samuel asked him why he had not obeyed God, his response was telling. I did...except I spared the king and we brought back the best of the animals to sacrifice. Word to the wise, never say to a prophet anything like, I did, but... That disobedience cost Saul his kingdom, his life, and the lives of his sons.The next mission we know of Samuel undertaking for God is the anointing of David to be the next king of Israel. Recall the story as David is anointed and soon is called into Saul's service as a musician to soothe Saul when he is troubled by an evil spirit. That spirit also, by the way, was a result of his disobedience. His disobedience opened a demonic gateway and allowed that spirit to trouble Saul.
Not long after that, we can almost hear the ring announcer saying something like, "In this corner, standing nine feet three inches tall and weighing 500 pounds, Gooooooollllliiiiiiaaaathhhhh." That was moments before one stone sent him tumbling to the ground. David took his head and his weapons. (I am not totally sure why that was important.)
And the rest of the story is that some years later, Saul did die in battle and David assumed the leadership of Israel. It is in that interim time period that David was on the run from Saul. God sent faithful men to be with David in the wilderness. He had 400 of the most frustrated, disheartened, disenfranchised men in Israel as his army. God was redeeming them all.
There was a very interesting twist to the situation at work a few weeks ago now. At least it was interesting my mind. (If you do not know about what is going on you may want to read the couple previous posts.) I doubt I can count all the times I have heard the story of David and and Saul, especially as an analogy for submitting to the powers that be in our lives. A few weeks ago, though, it came from someone up the chain of command from me. That was interesting because, as we have mentioned before, my name is David--and--Saul was up the chain of command from David. Of course my mind started working on that. It occurred to me that since I am David, if the story relates to me at all, the person up the chain would have to be in the place of Saul.
You get it, right? Saul is telling David to submit to Saul regardless of how wrong he is because Saul is the Lord's anointed. Yes, really. What kind of sense does that make? Let me rephrase it for you. You need to submit to me as the power over you even though you have been anointed to be king because the current king, evil as he is, has not relinquished the throne--yet. David is obliged to obey because it is the right thing for him to do. I should hasten to add, I do not think I have been anointed to be king.
Stick with me here while I process this. So Saul (the rejected, but still sitting king) is saying, "You have to be in submission to me because I am the king." What is bothering me has to do with the directive to obey coming from the person who was judged unworthy by God. I really mean to say was bothering me because, of course, as I wrote that, the Holy Spirit reminded me of a verse from the New Testament. Romans 11:29 says, "For the gifts and the calling of God are irrevocable." You do not have to be an attorney to understand irrevocable. It means once the gifts and calling of God come to a person, they will never be taken back. Saul certainly was called by God to be king. There can be no doubt of that. Therefore, that call continued until his death regardless of David being anointed.
Ok, so that is not really a very good analogy for what is going on here, but perhaps it can at least be a talking point for reference. In my opinion it would never be appropriate to equate being king over a kingdom with being an officer, director or manager in a company. I say that because a king answers to no one other than God. An employee, regardless of rank, answers to God first and his employer next (unless he is married, but we will not go there right now.) In this time, this dispensation if you like, all God's people answer to God--when there is a choice to be made. We are to be like Peter and John in front of the Sanhedrin. "Whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you more than God, you judge." (Acts 4:19)
Sunday, May 23, 2010
The Shaking Continues...
This is a breaking news update. (I always wanted to say that.) This week, in the most recent twist of circumstances, another employee of the Central Coast Rescue Mission tendered his resignation effective immediately. He was at the bottom of the staff ladder, but may very well have been standing at least one rung higher by the time the dust settles on the situation we have been attempting to explain here lately. Now, sources tell me, he has been invited to air his concerns to people very highly placed in the larger, corporate structure. To my knowledge that would be the first time something like that has ever been invited, and certainly has been unheard of here during my tenure. It will be interesting to find out what the larger picture is in all this.
In the meantime, we had a little bit of a setback with one of the men who had made great progress in his life and was down to counting weeks rather than months before he would be finished with his program. Without going into a lot of detail, he had a bad day while on pass and decided a little beer would make him feel better. That is not a well conceived idea when the program rules offer zero tolerance for alcohol and the breathalyzers are out because of rumors about other progam clients. When he was tested upon his return from pass his blood alcohol level read 0.01, the lowest reading the machine records. In spite of my best efforts, which included a futile, forty minute phone conversation with his probation officer, an irate judge had him remanded into custody and his case moved to a different court for a probation violation under general law rather than the more lenient, substance abuse laws.
Sometimes my job is very interesting. The public defender in the general law courtroom talked with her counterpart from the District Attorney's office. The three of us then conferenced as it what I wanted as an outcome. I explained that I did not think a 0.01 BAC was worth six months in jail. As God is my witness, the ADA said, "Hell, mine is probably higher than that right now. What is your suggestion?" (No, I will not tell you which ADA that was and if you find out I will have to deny I wrote this. wink) The long and short of the story is the client exhanged 10 days in jail for 30 days away from the program for the positive test. I could rationalize that one all day long, but suffice it to say whenever we have to deal with different judges and different attorneys than we normally do, we take what they are willing to give us. There was definitely, also an overriding good in this one. Let me explain.
The client under discussion has a fiance and three children. His testimony coming back from county jail is that God was working through him to minister to men he never thought would listen to anything about Jesus. He was glowing when I picked him up from the courthouse. I also had a few conversations with his fiance about the situation. She did a complete about face on life in the past couple weeks. We talked about it in some detail and she understands she had not been partnering with him in life. Nothing she did changes the fact he has to decide at some point, as his probation office told me bluntly, he cannot drink alcohol. By the way, I did send an email to the probation officer thanking her for standing her ground and allowing him to go to jail. It has all worked out for the glory of God. Just another indication of the truth of Romans 8:28 that all things end well for those who love God.
While all that is going on, I am being invited to meet with the Executive Vice President and the Personnel Director on Friday of this week. I have no idea what they may propose, but I have, more or less, designed the outcomes that would be acceptable to me. The net result will probably be in the range of nothing changing for me to me being unemployed on Saturday. The Holy Spirit told me a couple months ago that I am bulletproof. I will be employed at the mission as long as the Lord is pleased to have me there. I have actually now become howitzer proof. Nothing except God can move me out. I just have to make sure I do not overstay the intended time and end up with something less than a gracious exit. While He is working all things together for good, God sees that benefits accrue to everyone involved who is walking righteously. Trust me, I have been on the other side of this equation and it is much better to be right and to have a righteous cause than to be chopped down for trying to impress one's own will on a given situation.
As a final note, some have wondered about Jon. I visited him yesterday at the county jail. We all thought he would be off to state prison by now, but it is beginning to look as though he may not end up going at all and/or if he does, it might not be for nearly as long as he had thought. He showed us several pictures of his beautiful baby girl and insisted she is helping motivate him to become the man God has intended for him to be. I believe he is serious and resolute in his stance and I know he has the knowledge and ability to do the right things in the future. God truly does all things well. Obviously, more to come later. God bless.
In the meantime, we had a little bit of a setback with one of the men who had made great progress in his life and was down to counting weeks rather than months before he would be finished with his program. Without going into a lot of detail, he had a bad day while on pass and decided a little beer would make him feel better. That is not a well conceived idea when the program rules offer zero tolerance for alcohol and the breathalyzers are out because of rumors about other progam clients. When he was tested upon his return from pass his blood alcohol level read 0.01, the lowest reading the machine records. In spite of my best efforts, which included a futile, forty minute phone conversation with his probation officer, an irate judge had him remanded into custody and his case moved to a different court for a probation violation under general law rather than the more lenient, substance abuse laws.
Sometimes my job is very interesting. The public defender in the general law courtroom talked with her counterpart from the District Attorney's office. The three of us then conferenced as it what I wanted as an outcome. I explained that I did not think a 0.01 BAC was worth six months in jail. As God is my witness, the ADA said, "Hell, mine is probably higher than that right now. What is your suggestion?" (No, I will not tell you which ADA that was and if you find out I will have to deny I wrote this. wink) The long and short of the story is the client exhanged 10 days in jail for 30 days away from the program for the positive test. I could rationalize that one all day long, but suffice it to say whenever we have to deal with different judges and different attorneys than we normally do, we take what they are willing to give us. There was definitely, also an overriding good in this one. Let me explain.
The client under discussion has a fiance and three children. His testimony coming back from county jail is that God was working through him to minister to men he never thought would listen to anything about Jesus. He was glowing when I picked him up from the courthouse. I also had a few conversations with his fiance about the situation. She did a complete about face on life in the past couple weeks. We talked about it in some detail and she understands she had not been partnering with him in life. Nothing she did changes the fact he has to decide at some point, as his probation office told me bluntly, he cannot drink alcohol. By the way, I did send an email to the probation officer thanking her for standing her ground and allowing him to go to jail. It has all worked out for the glory of God. Just another indication of the truth of Romans 8:28 that all things end well for those who love God.
While all that is going on, I am being invited to meet with the Executive Vice President and the Personnel Director on Friday of this week. I have no idea what they may propose, but I have, more or less, designed the outcomes that would be acceptable to me. The net result will probably be in the range of nothing changing for me to me being unemployed on Saturday. The Holy Spirit told me a couple months ago that I am bulletproof. I will be employed at the mission as long as the Lord is pleased to have me there. I have actually now become howitzer proof. Nothing except God can move me out. I just have to make sure I do not overstay the intended time and end up with something less than a gracious exit. While He is working all things together for good, God sees that benefits accrue to everyone involved who is walking righteously. Trust me, I have been on the other side of this equation and it is much better to be right and to have a righteous cause than to be chopped down for trying to impress one's own will on a given situation.
As a final note, some have wondered about Jon. I visited him yesterday at the county jail. We all thought he would be off to state prison by now, but it is beginning to look as though he may not end up going at all and/or if he does, it might not be for nearly as long as he had thought. He showed us several pictures of his beautiful baby girl and insisted she is helping motivate him to become the man God has intended for him to be. I believe he is serious and resolute in his stance and I know he has the knowledge and ability to do the right things in the future. God truly does all things well. Obviously, more to come later. God bless.
Sunday, May 16, 2010
Is There Not a Cause
The longer I walk with the Lord, the more amazed I become at the details He works in my life. I imagine He is doing the same in yours. However, it seems only recently I have noticed things meshing quite as well as they are now. Maybe I was distracted. Maybe I was unconscious. Whatever the reason, as I said, I am amazed. Let me tell you from where the amazement comes.
I will not bore you with a repetition of how this blog came about. For those of you who do not know, and are interested, there is quite a bit of detail in the first few posts. It started out with a voice behind me whispering, "This is the way. Walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21) I would like to tell you, I immediately jumped up and started writing. I did, in fact, start researching how to publish a blog, but I had no sense of urgency about it. In case you are unaware, God starts calling some of us early because He knows it is going to take us longer to do what He wants us to do. Obviously, I did start writing and publishing the blog and the more I understand, the more I can see everything, right down to the timing, has been set in motion with precision.
Some of this will not make sense unless you have read the previous posts, "Shaken and Stirred" and "Aftershocks" published within the past few weeks, and "Of Men and Microcosms" as well as "Holy Boldness" published a little while before them. I am even more amazed as I type in those titles because, at the time, they did not seem to relate to each other. I even wondered why I was writing some of them. God truly does do all things well.
If anyone has ever been accused of ulterior or impure motives it surely must be me. I am not saying that to get any sympathy or glory in my sufferings. I am only stating facts. I think I have a good heart. I do tend at times to be naive, and at other times presumptuous, but I am making progress, at least in the latter area. I used to rush in where angels fear to tread, but these days I am much more deliberate so it takes me longer to make the same mistakes. I clearly remember a time when I intentionally said something for no other reason than to make another person look bad. I remember just as clearly the conviction of the Holy Spirit after I had done it. That was almost 33 years ago. It is something I have attempted to not replicate.
There was another fellow by the same name who was accused of wrong motives. You may remember the story. If you do not remember it, I would refer you to 1 Samuel 17. David, the shepherd boy, went to take food to his brothers who were with the army of Israel. They were encamped facing the Philistine army. The Philistine leader, Goliath, came out twice a day, challenging and taunting the Israelites to send one man to fight him. Goliath was descended from a race of giants and stood over nine feet tall. That would be intimidating enough nowadays, but if I remember correctly from physical anthropology, the average height of an Israelite soldier would have been barely over five feet. King Saul is reported to have been head and shoulders taller than average so he might have stood six feet tall. No one was going to challenge this huge man one on one, no one except David anyway.
You see, David knew something none of the other Israelite soldiers knew. He had been in training for years to defeat Goliath. He had already killed a lion and a bear. He also knew the battle was not his, but the Lord's. He had a Holy Boldness. While the other Israelites were Shaken, he was Stirred. He became a Microcosm for those of us who are fighting enemies larger than ourselves. When his older brother challenged him as to his motives, his response was, "Is there not a cause?" (1 Samuel 17:29)
Why did Eliab challenge David and question his motives? God had just passed over Eliab to be the next king of Israel having chosen his youngest brother instead. Certainly Eliab had reason to be jealous of David, but it seems to have been more than that. Eliab was one of the Israelite army who had been cowering at the taunts of Goliath. Along came David, willing to take the giant's challenge. Need I spell it out for you? When someone is doing the right thing, perhaps even the thing we should be doing, we will do whatever we can to keep them from doing it. Should they succeed, we might be embarrassed. God forbid! Who's victory is it anyway?
We all know the story. David was taken to Saul (another man not doing what he should) who was willing to let the brash, young man fight his battles for him, but thought he ought to dress differently. David eschewed Saul's armor (another whole teaching) preferring instead to trust his own weapon and believing God to give him the victory. God gave him the victory. He always does.
I do not want to make too much of this, but I take David seriously. After all, he has a great name. He became the second king of Israel. He fought the giant and won. The religious spirit is gigantic compared to me. Before I get to that though, I have another battle to fight. I cannot really go into detail at this time, but there is a cause. Part of it is protecting my men. Mostly it is simply the right thing to do--and I trust, the right time to do it.
It is my own fault I have this battle to face. I started praying for a change. Some people who know the situation say I should not have prayed for the change at all. My idea of change was just a little thing. This one looks to be much bigger than I imagined. At this point I am not even sure how big the change is going to be. I do know this though, it is yet another step in preparation for the larger battle here in the Santa Maria valley.
This battle will be joined tomorrow when I send out a letter asking for what I believe is owed to me. Were I to leave it there, some would impute the impure motives of financial gain to this battle. There may be some financial gain, but that will only be the spoils of the battle. I will let you know how it all resolves. Please pray. There is a cause.
I will not bore you with a repetition of how this blog came about. For those of you who do not know, and are interested, there is quite a bit of detail in the first few posts. It started out with a voice behind me whispering, "This is the way. Walk in it." (Isaiah 30:21) I would like to tell you, I immediately jumped up and started writing. I did, in fact, start researching how to publish a blog, but I had no sense of urgency about it. In case you are unaware, God starts calling some of us early because He knows it is going to take us longer to do what He wants us to do. Obviously, I did start writing and publishing the blog and the more I understand, the more I can see everything, right down to the timing, has been set in motion with precision.
Some of this will not make sense unless you have read the previous posts, "Shaken and Stirred" and "Aftershocks" published within the past few weeks, and "Of Men and Microcosms" as well as "Holy Boldness" published a little while before them. I am even more amazed as I type in those titles because, at the time, they did not seem to relate to each other. I even wondered why I was writing some of them. God truly does do all things well.
If anyone has ever been accused of ulterior or impure motives it surely must be me. I am not saying that to get any sympathy or glory in my sufferings. I am only stating facts. I think I have a good heart. I do tend at times to be naive, and at other times presumptuous, but I am making progress, at least in the latter area. I used to rush in where angels fear to tread, but these days I am much more deliberate so it takes me longer to make the same mistakes. I clearly remember a time when I intentionally said something for no other reason than to make another person look bad. I remember just as clearly the conviction of the Holy Spirit after I had done it. That was almost 33 years ago. It is something I have attempted to not replicate.
There was another fellow by the same name who was accused of wrong motives. You may remember the story. If you do not remember it, I would refer you to 1 Samuel 17. David, the shepherd boy, went to take food to his brothers who were with the army of Israel. They were encamped facing the Philistine army. The Philistine leader, Goliath, came out twice a day, challenging and taunting the Israelites to send one man to fight him. Goliath was descended from a race of giants and stood over nine feet tall. That would be intimidating enough nowadays, but if I remember correctly from physical anthropology, the average height of an Israelite soldier would have been barely over five feet. King Saul is reported to have been head and shoulders taller than average so he might have stood six feet tall. No one was going to challenge this huge man one on one, no one except David anyway.
You see, David knew something none of the other Israelite soldiers knew. He had been in training for years to defeat Goliath. He had already killed a lion and a bear. He also knew the battle was not his, but the Lord's. He had a Holy Boldness. While the other Israelites were Shaken, he was Stirred. He became a Microcosm for those of us who are fighting enemies larger than ourselves. When his older brother challenged him as to his motives, his response was, "Is there not a cause?" (1 Samuel 17:29)
Why did Eliab challenge David and question his motives? God had just passed over Eliab to be the next king of Israel having chosen his youngest brother instead. Certainly Eliab had reason to be jealous of David, but it seems to have been more than that. Eliab was one of the Israelite army who had been cowering at the taunts of Goliath. Along came David, willing to take the giant's challenge. Need I spell it out for you? When someone is doing the right thing, perhaps even the thing we should be doing, we will do whatever we can to keep them from doing it. Should they succeed, we might be embarrassed. God forbid! Who's victory is it anyway?
We all know the story. David was taken to Saul (another man not doing what he should) who was willing to let the brash, young man fight his battles for him, but thought he ought to dress differently. David eschewed Saul's armor (another whole teaching) preferring instead to trust his own weapon and believing God to give him the victory. God gave him the victory. He always does.
I do not want to make too much of this, but I take David seriously. After all, he has a great name. He became the second king of Israel. He fought the giant and won. The religious spirit is gigantic compared to me. Before I get to that though, I have another battle to fight. I cannot really go into detail at this time, but there is a cause. Part of it is protecting my men. Mostly it is simply the right thing to do--and I trust, the right time to do it.
It is my own fault I have this battle to face. I started praying for a change. Some people who know the situation say I should not have prayed for the change at all. My idea of change was just a little thing. This one looks to be much bigger than I imagined. At this point I am not even sure how big the change is going to be. I do know this though, it is yet another step in preparation for the larger battle here in the Santa Maria valley.
This battle will be joined tomorrow when I send out a letter asking for what I believe is owed to me. Were I to leave it there, some would impute the impure motives of financial gain to this battle. There may be some financial gain, but that will only be the spoils of the battle. I will let you know how it all resolves. Please pray. There is a cause.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Aftershocks
If you read the post about earthquakes (http://thechurchinsantamariaca.blog.com/2010/04/shaken-and-stirred.html) you know I prophesied there was still more shaking to come at the Mission. Sure enough, my boss got word that he was being replaced as director effective as soon as a new director could be put into place. He is understandably upset about the situation as there was no real indication that was being considered. He told me he had been asked to accept the open position of chaplain at the Mission. He has preliminarily agreed to that demotion. Interestingly enough, that would have put him in a lower position than mine according to the established hierarchy at the corporation, although I have no supervisory responsibilities. Wait, it gets better. That news in and of itself would not be blog worthy.
Earlier this week, my boss called me into his office to let me know his original understanding of him filling the open, chaplain position was not what had been decided. He showed me an email from the CEO that indicated his intention to demote each of us down one step, me to chaplain and him to Program Coordinator. Now I get to be shaken as well. (As if having a different person to report to were not actually shaking.) There is a fly in the ointment in that though. I was hired as Program Coordinator two and a half years ago and have not been offered a different position. So all the intentions in the world notwithstanding, I do not intend to be leaving that position. However, the employee handbook does indicate the company has the right to change pretty much anything about our employment at their discretion. I just think those kinds of decisions ought not be made by CEO fiat in a Christian ministry organization. I do have an ace up my sleeve though. I will use it if pressed and may use it simply because it is the right thing to do. As of this writing, that is still open for discussion. I have simply worked too hard for the past 2 1/2 years to have the rug pulled out from under me and given to someone who cannot and honestly, does not even want to do the job.
If you did not read the post just previous to this one, you may not know that we went to a wedding last weekend where God taught a spiritual lesson on how little it really takes to be a blessing to someone else. What we did not include in that post is that on the way to the wedding we had a little mishap with the car. The road was narrowing due to some construction and cones had been placed along the left side of the highway to narrow the road to one lane. Before I realized that was happening I had cones on my left and a tractor-trailer on my right. About the time I hit the gas to accelerate around the truck, I saw the line in the middle of the road disappear under its tires. I have no idea why the driver was moving to the left, but my choice was to be hit by a very large truck on the right or hit some orange, plastic cones on the left. I chose the cones. I watched four of them disappear into the front bumper before I got past the truck far enough to get back into my lane. Without boring you too much more, the car will be released from the body shop next week upon payment of $2,000. or so. Do you know John 10:10? I feel ripped off. Should we say shaken? By the way for those of who might be wondering I did speak to the situation as I was hitting the cones. I am pretty sure the words were, "Son of a." I am not sure how I had intended to finish that sentence, but the next thought was, "Oh man." and then, of course, "I wonder how much damage that did."
It looks to me like it is going to be an interesting time as the battle heats up. The events reported above almost make me think I might have been identified by someone as an enemy combatant. Were I a Marine as a couple of my friends are, I would say, "Bring it on." but honestly, I am just not quite there yet. To borrow part of a phrase, we have seen the enemy and he is not us. The enemy is a usurper and a thief. He only comes to steal and to kill and to destroy. I am simply not having it. There is a time to submit and a time to stand and fight. I am feeling more and more like this is the latter.
Being in the maelstrom does give one many different perspectives almost at once. I have already received several supportive emails and words of encouragement. One of my clients brought me a sandwich (a first for him) the other day and told me to eat it, it would make me feel better. I think it disrupted my digestive system, but I know his intentions were good. By and large my men are lined up in support of me. Time will tell if that makes any difference to any of the principals involved. I have taught them well, but if the old man raises his head these are guys who are used to getting ugly when threatened. I have yet to have anyone be less than compassionate with me and somewhere between annoyed and outraged with the whole situation. I do not know, maybe I am actually doing something right. Stay tuned and please be praying and seeking the Lord with us.
Earlier this week, my boss called me into his office to let me know his original understanding of him filling the open, chaplain position was not what had been decided. He showed me an email from the CEO that indicated his intention to demote each of us down one step, me to chaplain and him to Program Coordinator. Now I get to be shaken as well. (As if having a different person to report to were not actually shaking.) There is a fly in the ointment in that though. I was hired as Program Coordinator two and a half years ago and have not been offered a different position. So all the intentions in the world notwithstanding, I do not intend to be leaving that position. However, the employee handbook does indicate the company has the right to change pretty much anything about our employment at their discretion. I just think those kinds of decisions ought not be made by CEO fiat in a Christian ministry organization. I do have an ace up my sleeve though. I will use it if pressed and may use it simply because it is the right thing to do. As of this writing, that is still open for discussion. I have simply worked too hard for the past 2 1/2 years to have the rug pulled out from under me and given to someone who cannot and honestly, does not even want to do the job.
If you did not read the post just previous to this one, you may not know that we went to a wedding last weekend where God taught a spiritual lesson on how little it really takes to be a blessing to someone else. What we did not include in that post is that on the way to the wedding we had a little mishap with the car. The road was narrowing due to some construction and cones had been placed along the left side of the highway to narrow the road to one lane. Before I realized that was happening I had cones on my left and a tractor-trailer on my right. About the time I hit the gas to accelerate around the truck, I saw the line in the middle of the road disappear under its tires. I have no idea why the driver was moving to the left, but my choice was to be hit by a very large truck on the right or hit some orange, plastic cones on the left. I chose the cones. I watched four of them disappear into the front bumper before I got past the truck far enough to get back into my lane. Without boring you too much more, the car will be released from the body shop next week upon payment of $2,000. or so. Do you know John 10:10? I feel ripped off. Should we say shaken? By the way for those of who might be wondering I did speak to the situation as I was hitting the cones. I am pretty sure the words were, "Son of a." I am not sure how I had intended to finish that sentence, but the next thought was, "Oh man." and then, of course, "I wonder how much damage that did."
It looks to me like it is going to be an interesting time as the battle heats up. The events reported above almost make me think I might have been identified by someone as an enemy combatant. Were I a Marine as a couple of my friends are, I would say, "Bring it on." but honestly, I am just not quite there yet. To borrow part of a phrase, we have seen the enemy and he is not us. The enemy is a usurper and a thief. He only comes to steal and to kill and to destroy. I am simply not having it. There is a time to submit and a time to stand and fight. I am feeling more and more like this is the latter.
Being in the maelstrom does give one many different perspectives almost at once. I have already received several supportive emails and words of encouragement. One of my clients brought me a sandwich (a first for him) the other day and told me to eat it, it would make me feel better. I think it disrupted my digestive system, but I know his intentions were good. By and large my men are lined up in support of me. Time will tell if that makes any difference to any of the principals involved. I have taught them well, but if the old man raises his head these are guys who are used to getting ugly when threatened. I have yet to have anyone be less than compassionate with me and somewhere between annoyed and outraged with the whole situation. I do not know, maybe I am actually doing something right. Stay tuned and please be praying and seeking the Lord with us.
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