I have long said I have an uncanny ability to offend people without trying. I have even often thought of that as something of a gift. (Yes, definitely tongue-in-cheek.) I recently had a friend, who I consider to be above average in spiritual insight explain that ability to me. He said, "You have the ability to make people see the shortcomings in themselves." I am mulling that. I have no idea what I do, how I do it, or even if I really do do it. For the time being, I am assuming my friend is correct. If there are any opinions on this out there, I would be grateful to hear them.
That would explain something else too. A few times, fewer than half a dozen I guess, I have been accused of being arrogant. I looked up the word on dictionary.com. So we are on the same page, here is the definition. 1. making claims or pretensions to superior importance or rights; overbearingly assuming; insolently proud: an arrogant public official. I do not think I fit that definition. Am I in denial? Anyone? You know you can make an anonymous comment on the blog? Here is the thing about that definition, I do not see how anyone could possibly say anyone else is any of those things. People who act that way usually do so out of insecurity or feelings of inferiority. Might it be that a person who would call another arrogant may believe himself (or herself) to be inferior to the person he is accusing?
I remember the first person and the first time I was accused of arrogance. I thought at the time one person should never accuse another of arrogance--at least not without a Godly sorrow for the person they are accusing of arrogance. Since that time I have met a man who I consider to be arrogant. He is an unGodly man, a genius, who built a small fortune in business--and seems to feel he is entitled above other people. Is he really arrogant or is that just my perception? Perhaps he is hiding some insecurity behind his intelligence and now his worldly riches. I am mulling that as well.
Just for fun, I also looked up "arrogant" in the Bible. That is what guys like me do. There are two different words translated "arrogance". Both of them are found in the Old Testament. The King James version has it as "arrogancy" if you are interested. The two words mean different things and show two different facets of what it means to be arrogant. The first one actually means to be of worth or value. The second one means to be hard or unyielding. Put them together and we have something that looks kind of like our English definition. It would be an attitude we might describe as, " being great and knowing it."
None of that necessarily negates the idea that someone may think I am arrogant. However, if we return to the assumption that my friend is right, a person who considers me to be arrogant would be in a psychological state identified as projection. He or she would be projecting arrogance upon me which is, in fact, resident in himself. (Ouch!) He would be saying words to the affect of, "You think you are better than me, but you are not. Because I know this, I am better than you." Being as honest as I know how to be though, I think the person is actually saying, "I think you are better than I am so you must think that too." That seems to me like such a sad way to live, thinking others are better than oneself--for whatever reason.
Having said all that, let me hasten to add that I have a unique package of gifts from God. I need that unique package to do what God has called me to do. However, my package of gifts is no more impressive than yours is. You have a unique package of gifts that will allow you to become everything God has in mind for you. Perhaps the only difference right now is that I have finally come to understand what I am supposed to be doing and have started to do it. I am still mulling that as well. I know part of it, but certainly not all of it. The Bible tells us to work out our own salvation with fear and trembling because it is God who works in us to will and to do of His good pleasure (Philippians 2:12-13). Are you doing that? I am, but I know there is still work to be done in that area.
I have probably said enough about that. At the rate I have been writing, this might be the last post for the year. I think there may be one more coming soon. In any event, God bless you as you work out your salvation. If we can help in any way, please let us know.
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Interesting post.Putting the pop-pyschology aside, there was a time when those of us who engaged in the aforementioned banter were simply called rude and inconsiderate and were told to think before we speak. If we were on the receiving end we were told that sticks and stones can break your bones but words will never hurt you.(contrary to biblical teaching).
ReplyDeleteFast forward 40 years and we find that everything thing is offensive and should be against the law. When (not if) I offend someone I prefer to go to them and make it right. Right?